A Work in Progress

I went recently on a call in the snow. The snow started around 10 pm. We got a trouble breathing call around 1130. There was just enough snow by then to make things slippery and annoying. We parked at the end of a short but steep driveway. I still haven’t figured out what is best in these situations: leave the cot, and fetch the patient, or take the cot and risk killing everyone on the way to the ambulance. Or, just give up completely. Either way, these calls are fraught with risk. Anyway, we pushed the cot to the door, and even carried it into the house. There we found an incredibly sick guy, struggling for oxygen and looking within inches of death. “Oh, good god” I said aloud. I threw a neb treatment on the guy and had already made the decision to get the hell out of there. “Sir, stand up.” I said firmly to him. He was so starved of oxygen, but he obeyed and we buckled him in. There was cop on scene, thank God, and he and my partner took the cot and eased it out of the...

For the past few weeks, I've been taking an improv class.  I took it because, well, I like to subscribe to the adage of 'do something that scares you...every once in a while'.  It goes something like that.  Thanks to this class, I have done something that scares me at least once a week.  I have no background in 'the stage' nor have I recently undertaken any public speaking challenges or anything of that sort.  Further, I am not that funny.  So, taking an improv course seemed like a great idea! It's a small class of nine, I think, and they are all wicked smart.  And quick.  The two characteristics that are the basis of impov.  Smart and quick. But I'm not too bad.  I think probably because we have an audience of one.  We are supposed to do a 'show' at the end of the sememster for friends and family.  I worry that with an audience of any number greater than one, I will be as good as Michael Scott . Outside of that future terro...

In the old days, EMS personnel were expected to drive the ambulance and then plan the funeral.  Life was seemingly simple. But now, a paramedic's job description is never long enough.  It is far beyond showing up and bringing the hearse.  I joke that I am paid for 'readiness' as my excuse to earn money sleeping.  But readiness is a big part of the job.  In the station, I am chef, maid, and janitor.  I track supplies, check medications and restock.  On calls, a paramedic is driver, interviewer, negotiator, the calm of the storm.  A paramedic is the medicine giver, the airway guru, the IV ninja.  A paramedic is the authority, the decision-maker, the therapist, listener, and giver of advice.  We take care of every type of patient and yet have no specialty. I'm not sure why I'm compelled to point this out.  I think that it is easy to forget how dynamic this job really is.  It is very easy to forget the expectations of this job....

There's no way to write about the anniversary of the deaths of Sophie and Hans Scholl, and Christoph Probst without going on an inane tangent.  This subject is clearly far from the usual blog fare, though I think I've pointed it out before. It'se easiest just to point you to this link for a pretty good run down of the story.  I am rarely moved by, well, anything, but when I heard this story in Munich I found it to be extrodinary.   It deserves recounting, it certainly deserves remembering.  To me, it is a reminder to stand for what is right, and to remember the burdon of hate this world carries. Temper your suffering with those who suffer most. 

I've learned a few things from my patients in recent weeks. Firstly, dreams can be intense.  At 4 in the morning, my patient had a dream that he was under attack.  His attackers had left for some reason, but were headed back at any time. The logical conclusion was for him to exit the building.  Through the window.  This was probably a great plan except that he was on the second floor.  No one told his dream self this and by the time he realized it, it was too late.  Wide awake, broken, and on the freezing sidewalk below, he had to crawl to a neighbors house, up the porch and knock on the door until they woke up.  So, the lesson here is any of the following: Tie yourself to your bed, sleep on the first floor, lock the windows, or carry a cell phone in your pajamas. Secondly, and this one is a little more obvious, trees are tall.  Yes, and sometimes if you climb them, especially using big nails driven into the trunk as a ladder, you cal fall out ...

Tonight I went out to dinner.  Well, this afternoon I took the bike to the park for the first ride of the year.  It was marginally successful.  I need to work harder at the gym.  Anyway.  I got home later than I thought, ate some leftovers in a rush and went to a meeting.  It was some pretty good human interaction!  And could give me plenty of things to do in the future.  Anyway.  Afterwards, we went out to dinner.  I was still a little hungry from abbreviated dinner, so off I went.  'Why get something small, when I can get something to have now and take home for tomorrow?'  I said to myself.  It was a nice dinner with plenty left for another meal.  They kindly gave me a box, and a bag too.  I carefully scraped my plate into the box and put it in the bag and placed it right in front of me so I wouldn't forget to take it home. Well, by now, we all know the end of this story.  It should be no surprise to any ...

Seven years ago the blog and I were just getting started.  I hope that's still true today.  I wish I had something interesting to say to mark the occasion, but... I am happy to see that bloggers have less of a stigma than they did seven years ago. At least it seems to me that there are more serious bloggers now and it's not all pointless musings and quiz results.  I am sure in many circles, blogging is still considered in inferior form of writing.  But in this day and age, I'm glad that writing appears to be alive and well.  Though it is barely alive in this blog. I am thinking of breathing new life into this blog with a weekly 'column.'  I've often thought that I was well capable of being hired by a paper and banging out 500 (?) words to get the general public thinking.  Also, if I set a deadline for myself it is far more likely to be completed.  The current blog related deadline is whenever I feel like it or remember to or am inspired to post....

Today I gave my first deposition. It was quite an adventure. It's not a suit I'm named in, but my report does hold some seemingly important information. Therefore, lawyers on both sides felt it necessary to hear every detail of my educational past and career path. Then they had a whole host of inane questions like why we had two providers on a call? What's the difference between a paramedic and an EMT? Why did I use the glascow coma scale? When did I first learn about this particular condition? 'The exact date?' I ask. 'Yes.' they answer as if it were completely reasonable to remember every detail of college. 'Oh, that? Let me see. That was September 21st 2004 at about 815 in the morning.' I feel like it is a good thing that this call happened over four years ago and I can't remember it at all. This way, I am 100% reliant on my documentation, which although a scary prospect, this scenario is easier than remembering something inaccu...

I want a dog. That's why I adopted two cats. Not that they would ease me into dog ownership. I have come to terms that I can't have a dog while I am still doing this 24 hour shift thing. I know that dog walkers and kennels exist and all that, but those things add an expense to the whole thing and includes giving a complete stranger a key to my house. I digress. I've wanted a cat and just before Christmas I made the biggest mistake someone who 'wants a cat' could make. I went to the pound. It was absolutely busting with elegible cats and the more I looked the more compelled I was to own one. I was Vascilating between the two of these cats. I was unduly infulenced by the volunteer who wanted me to adopt this one cat so badly she could taste it. 'That one's nice, but look at this one! She's such a sad case. She's been here for months too. And she's kind of ugly. And kind of old. But look how sweet she is! Here, sit down. I'll p...

Are you telling me that it is January 6th and I haven't written a post since sometime in December? Is my life so sad that I cannot even bore you with the mundane things that have taken place in the last monthish? Yeah, probably. I've uh, gone to the store, and driven to work, and ran some calls, and took a nap and that about sums it up. Okay, it's not all that bad. I do worry that I have come to a point in my prehospital career, where I don't need to write every call down. Well, that's already happened, but very few get blogged. That, I guess, is obvious this year by how few calls are noted here. That and an increasing worry about privacy violations. It only seems natural that I don't share every call anymore. Not that I ever really did, but honestly, there is only so much to be said about shortness of breath and chest pain. The market can only bear so many recountings of car accidents. Or maybe I have just lost my mojo. I don't know, but I ...

I went on almost 300 calls this year. It seems like a lot, until you compare that to the number of hours I've worked. Far more than 40 a week, I can tell you that. But that is beside the point, whatever that was. Another year gone, as they say. It's been a good one. I spent a lot of money! Well, I guess, more accurately, I borrowed a lot of money. So I owe a lot of money. So I'll stop thinking about that because it makes me anxious. In addition to the house I bought a fancy bike and recently two cats. Yes, 2 cats, but more on that earlier. Or later. Depends on how much changing of the dates I decide on. So I ran calls and bought stuff. What a year! Lets do the year in review based on the post written on 30 Dec 2010. The photography WAP is still up and running. I booked a show for September, and if I ever get it together, will sort out the 'spring season.' The craft show circuit is amusing, but hard work. I did do more domestic travel. I shou...

I have renewed my efforts in online dating as of late. I've joined a free site that a friend recommended and I like it so far mostly because it is free, but also because it really seems like they are putting an effort into matching you with acceptable people. This recent foray has led me to create part 2 of my guide to online dating. I feel that many profile makers need a coach or a guide to follow to increase their chance of success. Despite my wild non-success, I still feel I can dole out some advice. I feel that in my absence from online dating, the weirdness has gotten worse. Now, I know you should be yourself and all that and not put up a false front, but sometimes we just need to do a better job at hiding our crazy. Everyone does it. It's quite a phenomena that we all walk around making vain attempts to look normal. We are not. No one is. That being said, women want normal guys, (as far as I know) and the more crazy you reveal in your profile, the less succes...

I have a tendency to be a reclusive hermit. It is far worse in winter months as I will take any excuse now to stay in and sit by the woodstove. It's too cold, too cloudy, too rainy, or too dry to go out today. So I will sit and watch The Incredibles and all of the bonus features until it's dinner time. Then I tend to throw some half assed dinner-esque meal together. Bits of leftovers, progresso soup, cheese and crackers, or cereal. Yes, because I'm in college. This behavior will not win me friends, health, enlightenment, or boyfriends. So, something must be done. I've decided by the new year (instead of those post new year actions that are never fruitful), I'll be joining the local arts council, a photography club and take a class with the local theatre. All of which should produce social interatction and/or amusing situations. The photo club will help me to stop missing deadlines for local shows and give me some fancy tips. Apparently one member shoots ...

Imagine yourself driving. School's back in session and you get stuck behind a bus on the way home from work. What joy. Suddenly, the school bus indicates to the right, pulls over, puts on their yellow lights and stops. Oh, thank goodness, you might say to yourself, thankful for a conscientious bus driver letting you pass. A couple of blocks away, a cop appears behind you. You duly pull over, but it turns out, he's after you. Yes, this is how my morning started. The cop, I think, never intended to give me a ticket, but wasted 15 minutes of my time anyway. 'Why did it pull over?' I asked. 'Well, to get closer to the kids.' he replied. Oh, yes. That makes sense. It was seriously one of the most stupid situations I've been in. I refrained from any eye rolls and then I did speed after the bus and tried to run over some more kids.

Welcome to the 800th post! Yes, I can feel the excitement. '800 posts?!' You are marveling to yourself 'How time flies!' Just think of all the strange and interesting and nerdy tidbits about my life you've been privy to. And you can relive the magic of 800 posts simply by scrolling to the end of this page and clicking 'older posts' about 90 times. Please do, in fact. Especially if you want to publish 'A Work in Progress' the movie. I'm open to suggestion. Ah, but now to the point. Well, to be fair, I don't have one. Oh yes, I was going to explain to the none of you out there who found yourselves wondering 'What ever happened to that car project Ellie was alluding to a few weeks ago?' Well, it is an interesting story so you sit right down and prepare yourself for a tale of woe and heartbreak. I have lusted after a classic Mini Cooper for many a year now. Constantly trolling on ebay and minimania for that perfect, cheapish...

Finally I can write a boring post without being the cause. I have been in refresher class all this week, thus, nothing exciting to write about whatsoever. The End. Of course not. Like many of our instructors and fellow paramedics, I like to hear myself talk, so here's some more for you. This class is boring. And I worry about how boring it is. It should be introducing me to new innovations in our field and the medical community as a whole. New research, tools, tricks, etc. It should not be a rehash of the most mundane aspects of our job. I am assuming they're following the DOT recommendations, but seriously? I was hoping that this wouldn't feel like a waste of time. But, having missed a year of con-ed, this class is certainly a necessary boredom for me. I also wish that we could go ahead and do the extra stuff so I can bridge from being a paramedic to being a paramedic for national registry purposes. Yes, if you haven't heard of this, Registry is revampin...

A lot of my friends are having babies this year. As a friend and non-mom, I have little advice to give them. Or anyone for that matter, regardless of their situation. But over the years, thanks to work, I have developed a few blanket statements that are applicable to everyday life. For example when it comes to drinking. Don't drink and drive, drink and hunt, or drink and ride a bike. Always wear a helmet. Perhaps literally always, because life is unpredictable. Don't sleep with your infant in your bed. Period. Be exceedingly careful if your morning routine is changed. Especially when it comes to who is dropping the baby off at daycare. Just trust me on this one. When you mow your lawn, lock the kids in the house. Or, the neighbors house. Or, a house in the next town over. Take your medication. But not too much of it. Just quit smoking. Just stop speeding. On that subject, don't drive and talk on the phone, text, or eat a pie. It only takes a second. D...

I think it may be safe to say that a class reunion is one of the more strange social situations one can encounter. It is an evening full of seeing people who look vaguely familiar and, in my case, completely blanking on their name. I really should have reviewed the yearbook before I came. But instead, I went with my closest friend from high school and we relied on eachother to ID people. And a number of the people we came up empty on. I guess that's typical after ten years and hundreds of classmates. But you can't help feeling like a jerk when someone shouts "OMG, Ellie, how are you?!" after you spent five whole minutes sitting in the corner trying to remember their name. The whole thing brought me back and I should have panicked about what to wear far sooner than I did. As I went to my fallback stores and found nothing, I began to realize that I am as in touch with fashion and trends now as I was ten years ago. I felt just as lost choosing what to wear to ev...

Having house guests had the desired effect on me. We ate plenty of meals at regular intervals, rearranged the living room (for the better) and hung out like normal humans. My fridge was stocked and I bought a new chair. I learned I can deal with a dog, but that whole 24 hour job thing still gets in the way. In addition, they brought their bikes here and we had to justify that. I've been biking more in the last month than I have in the last three and it feels good and bad to be back on that track. I am reminded that the bike was expensive and I have to take it out to justify it. I was also reminded that if you stop exercise, it doesn't take long to feel like an out of shape lazy-ass. Inspired by my house guests' fitness, I have started back at the gym, which I immediately regretted when I climbed stairs the next day. But, fear not! Especially if it keeps snowing and unseasonable amount, I will have no reason to avoid it. The biking has been great and with only a f...

It is simple and concise. Far from elegant thoughtful yet chaotic, typed and careful. Paragraphs and lists. These are the reasons, the pains and unmet needs. The counting of the blessings. Thankful for the good times, it reassures and probably, assumes too much. This whole life in a few lines. Are these words enough, this simple correspondence. Enough for forgiveness, for understanding. Is it long enough to heal a broken heart. Is it desperate enough to make it okay, to pull the trigger.