School Bus

Imagine yourself driving. School's back in session and you get stuck behind a bus on the way home from work. What joy. Suddenly, the school bus indicates to the right, pulls over, puts on their yellow lights and stops. Oh, thank goodness, you might say to yourself, thankful for a conscientious bus driver letting you pass. A couple of blocks away, a cop appears behind you. You duly pull over, but it turns out, he's after you. Yes, this is how my morning started. The cop, I think, never intended to give me a ticket, but wasted 15 minutes of my time anyway. 'Why did it pull over?' I asked. 'Well, to get closer to the kids.' he replied. Oh, yes. That makes sense. It was seriously one of the most stupid situations I've been in. I refrained from any eye rolls and then I did speed after the bus and tried to run over some more kids.


Welcome to the 800th post! Yes, I can feel the excitement. '800 posts?!' You are marveling to yourself 'How time flies!' Just think of all the strange and interesting and nerdy tidbits about my life you've been privy to. And you can relive the magic of 800 posts simply by scrolling to the end of this page and clicking 'older posts' about 90 times. Please do, in fact. Especially if you want to publish 'A Work in Progress' the movie. I'm open to suggestion.

Ah, but now to the point. Well, to be fair, I don't have one. Oh yes, I was going to explain to the none of you out there who found yourselves wondering 'What ever happened to that car project Ellie was alluding to a few weeks ago?' Well, it is an interesting story so you sit right down and prepare yourself for a tale of woe and heartbreak.
I have lusted after a classic Mini Cooper for many a year now. Constantly trolling on ebay and minimania for that perfect, cheapish, and not in terrible shape Mini of the past. I came close a few times to buying one and by 'I came close' I mean that I really thought about it, looked at plane ticket prices, maps, and how much mini parts are and then promptly decided against bidding or forgot and the auction was over.
Perhaps one day the Mini gods would smile upon me. And then, out of nowhere, they did. While driving with some friends, I saw it.  Like a tiny beacon calling to me. 1984, red, shoulder belts, head rests, right hand drive, bonnet stripes, low mileage, manual, and most importantly: running. Perfect. And so was the price. So, it needed a clutch, a small price to pay.
I vacillated for about a week and tried to be adult about such a decision. In the end, decided that I could justify owning it in a completely practical way. I called the guy on a Friday to tell him that the Mini would be mine. High fives all around.
On Saturday it snowed. It was a very freak snow in October and it was wacky but tolerable. I thought of poor old mini out of a garage for the first time in 10 years an having it's first snow. Aww.
On Monday morning I called the guy to work out some deets. Things took a strange turn when he said that the mini had been hit by a snow plow. Seriously, at that exact moment I lost the call. He called back in a few minutes and I said 'Oh good, I thought I was going crazy and we entered a parallel universe where you told me that my mini was hit by a snow plow. That was weird!' It was then that he informed me that it had in fact been plowed. Literally. And not just any plow, a state owned enormous giant terrible plow. And you can imagine what that might do to a defenseless mini cooper.
And with that, the mini dream is back on and in case you were wondering, there's nothing on ebay right now.

That is not what I intended for the 800th post, but there it is. Here, have a tissue. Other than that I broke my not getting sick rule, started a lot of fires in my house, and really enjoyed watching Contagion. But more on that later.

Here's to 800 more.

p.s.  I just had to publish 2 drafted posts so as not make a liar out of me with this '800th post'  A cookie to anyone who finds them.


Finally I can write a boring post without being the cause. I have been in refresher class all this week, thus, nothing exciting to write about whatsoever. The End. Of course not. Like many of our instructors and fellow paramedics, I like to hear myself talk, so here's some more for you. This class is boring. And I worry about how boring it is. It should be introducing me to new innovations in our field and the medical community as a whole. New research, tools, tricks, etc. It should not be a rehash of the most mundane aspects of our job. I am assuming they're following the DOT recommendations, but seriously? I was hoping that this wouldn't feel like a waste of time.
But, having missed a year of con-ed, this class is certainly a necessary boredom for me. I also wish that we could go ahead and do the extra stuff so I can bridge from being a paramedic to being a paramedic for national registry purposes. Yes, if you haven't heard of this, Registry is revamping their certs, dropping the Intermediate and giving paramedics the post-nominals of 'NRP.' This all has to occur by around 2017. The bridge class will include stuff we already do like CO2 monitoring, and things we still won't do like foley's.

Some not very useful information can be found here. Most importantly, the rocker will be replaced on the patch. Whew! That was a crazy couple of years. The only problem is that it says 'Nationally Certified' (in their computer rendering, at least) and certified is a word that doesn't sit well with me. Ah, things outside of my control!

So I will be refreshed as of tomorrow and ready to hit the streets for a solid 72 hours next week. Woot!

Pearls of Wisdom

A lot of my friends are having babies this year. As a friend and non-mom, I have little advice to give them. Or anyone for that matter, regardless of their situation. But over the years, thanks to work, I have developed a few blanket statements that are applicable to everyday life.
For example when it comes to drinking. Don't drink and drive, drink and hunt, or drink and ride a bike.
Always wear a helmet. Perhaps literally always, because life is unpredictable.
Don't sleep with your infant in your bed. Period.
Be exceedingly careful if your morning routine is changed. Especially when it comes to who is dropping the baby off at daycare. Just trust me on this one.
When you mow your lawn, lock the kids in the house. Or, the neighbors house. Or, a house in the next town over.
Take your medication. But not too much of it.
Just quit smoking.
Just stop speeding.
On that subject, don't drive and talk on the phone, text, or eat a pie. It only takes a second.
Don't climb tall trees without thinking it through. Or, stand on roofs, or stand on ladders while using saws.
Pay attention when a loved one is in the hospital. Be their advocate. Educate yourself and check up on their treatment. Medical people hate this, so do funeral directors.

I'm sure there are more, but I can't think of them. If you take this job too seriously, you'll go crazy. But these, these you can rely on.


I think it may be safe to say that a class reunion is one of the more strange social situations one can encounter. It is an evening full of seeing people who look vaguely familiar and, in my case, completely blanking on their name. I really should have reviewed the yearbook before I came. But instead, I went with my closest friend from high school and we relied on eachother to ID people. And a number of the people we came up empty on. I guess that's typical after ten years and hundreds of classmates. But you can't help feeling like a jerk when someone shouts "OMG, Ellie, how are you?!" after you spent five whole minutes sitting in the corner trying to remember their name.

The whole thing brought me back and I should have panicked about what to wear far sooner than I did. As I went to my fallback stores and found nothing, I began to realize that I am as in touch with fashion and trends now as I was ten years ago. I felt just as lost choosing what to wear to every event that took place back in the day. I was saved when, I found a dress for $14 and everything worked out okay. I was not over or under dressed and now I have something to wear to any future job interviews (if there ever are any).

That was another realization. If I ever did get a job in an office type setting, where I have to go to work like, five times a week (?!) I will have a total shopping breakdown. Way back in the day I ranted about shopping here. Let's just say it is one of my least favorite activities ever. But I digress.

The reunion was a lot of fun. It was cool to actually get to see people instead of catching up in the weird facebook way. Facebook has added another dimension of oddness to the whole thing. I knew peoples significant others because I had seen pictures of them online. I knew all the answers to the typical reunionesque questions thanks to facebook stalking. Someone told me that they read my blog, which is fantastic (by the way) but there is technology nearly eliminating the need to actually catch up. I'm proud of our class, and though I am not the first person in history to realize how weird it is to see people I've known since first grade grown up, parents, homeowners, and contributing members of society, that does not make it any less weird.