Oh Nine

Last year was the first time I ever wrote down any so-called resolutions for the new year. I think I should make more tangible resolutions for 2009 as most of them last year were cognitive, but I feel I did a pretty good job at sorting them out.
Firstly, I have set one of my wild ass plans into motion, and am now playing the waiting game with that. I will hopefully have more to tell, but I'll wait until there is something to tell, lest I look stupid.

I did quit my crappy job about two weeks after I resolved to, and I am now about to happily celebrate my one year anniversary with the not crappy job.
I got a flashlight for work, but it is still pretty bad. It is bright, but works only when it wants to and sometimes not even then. I find myself shaking it violently to life while on calls. So, I'll keep that resolution on the list for this year.
I find myself poised to enter a relationship, where things now are still tentative, shy, new, and exciting.
I felt exhilaration many times this year. Whether it be kayaking in the wind, intubating people, sharing international experiences with loved ones, making it to the end of the Great Glen Way, or finding out my best friend is pregnant. It is the best emotion, I'll keep it on the list of things to do this year.
I definitely take less crap from people these days. I don't have time for it.
Mucinex is my cold medicine of choice.
I'll keep learning on the list too, it's good stuff.
I haven't found a permanent exercise partner, but I'm getting there.
For this year,
I'd like to show the people I love how much I love them.
Be more generous.
Laugh more.
Read the Bible. I'd better get started.

Nothing says Christmas like

A playmobil nativity scene, a leg lamp (aka 'electric sex') , and a kayaking Santa.

Whole lotta nothing

My day so far has been kind of, well, basic. I did a transport in the AM (a 36 year old getting a cardiac cath. Scary stuff) From there um, I have actually completely forgotten half of our calls. I have even just asked my partner and he can't remember either. I guess that the calls don't need any more explanation than that. How sad is that? Oh, that's right! The one with the pushy daughter, he has reminded me.
We walked into the so-called "sick person" and were greeted by the daughter who demanded our names and that we shut the front door before we could even see the patient. That kind of behavior puts a bad taste in my mouth from the start. In actuality, the daughter needed to take her mom to the doctors office, but was afraid she'd fall down and she didn't want that responsibility. So, we dutifully sat her up, and walked her to the cot, as 'doctor's office' quickly turned into 'hospital' after we got there. I asked the daughter if her mother had been sick lately and I got a (what had the potential to be a 30 minute) explanation of all of her maladies from the last year. I stopped her quickly and got her to focus for five minutes on the present. Then we just left.

The next call was for the so-called "unresponsive." Here, we were greeted by a visiting nurse. She had been there for hours, and suddenly decided to call us. Why? I'm still not sure. She claimed that when she got there the patient was 'resting' and proceeded to give her a bath and change her bed. When we got there, she did indeed appear to be resting and responded to her name. I couldn't find anything wrong with her other than being a stubborn old lady who refused to open her eyes or talk.

We just got back from another crap call, and I now am playing games on my pimp new zune.

Drugs are (still) bad.

Last night I met a man at work who is in the running for biggest idiot of the year. I call him a 'man' to reiterate that he does not have the excuse of youth and inexperience to fall into drugs. We were called at 0330 this morning because he decided it would be a good idea to watch relative strangers mash up "pills" melt them down into a spoon, draw them up into a hypodermic that might have come from a used sharps box (or God knows where), and inject it into his vein. Doing this, rightly so, made him classically "feel funny" and have a period of severe chest pain. Thank you, Mr. Idiot, now I am awake and my 3am mind is trying to wrap around a 35 year old guy who would do this to himself.
I couldn't find anything wrong with him, as by the time we arrived, his funny feeling had subsided. Now he didn't even want to go to the hospital. Fine. Easier for me.
Somehow he was spared from the long version, of "Do you know how stupid it is to do this?" speech and got a general 3am version of "What the hell is wrong with you?" Both include, but are not limited to, that drugs basically can kill you, not to take drugs from strangers, dirty needles give you incurable diseases that you can pass on to what I may assume now is your ex-girlfriend. Also, burial plots are expensive, but maybe you should get one now and spare your family the trouble.

EMS Tree

Behold! This years' EMS tree.
There are needles on my Christmas tree....no really. I might have gotten a little carried away with the picture taking. But it is fairly fabulous.


I have a cat. She is cute but useless. About two weeks ago, I noticed little teeth marks in my bar of hand soap that is on the kitchen sink. Tiny, rodent sized teeth marks. So, I put out a little trap. A few days later, I heard it in between the walls loudly chewing its way through, well, something that must have been very difficult to chew through, because it was making a lot of noise. At midnight. On this day, kitty was inordinately fascinated with staring at the sound coming from the walls. A cat possessed, she stared and stared, waiting for it to burst forth or something.
The next night, I came into the kitchen, flipped on the light, and had just enough time to see this rodent jump out of my recycle bin and under my oven. I'm afraid I may have screamed like a girl. At this stage, Kitty was sleeping in another room. Completely uninterested in our visitor now that it was in plain view. What's with that?!
So, I redoubled my efforts to capture the thing, and became worried that it seemed quite large. I bought a fancier trap that covers up the gruesome and business end of it. I left it out and few days later I had the back feet and tail of the thing sticking out of the trap. What is the point of having a cat if she won't even come through for the most basic of feline tasks? Well, she is pretty cute.


An class assigned sonnet-like response to "My mistress' eyes are nothing like the sun" by the bard himself. It's not perfect iambic pentameter, but amusing.

Some may want those abs to be a six pack,
oh, but yours, I’m afraid is two liters;
that and your tattoo of some womans’ rack,
are barely hidden by your wife beater.
You drive a tractor all day with a frown,
you farm; in your trade no man is wiser;
a hard worker from sun up to sun down,
sadly your product is fertilizer.
A solid education, you have not,
you won’t be, nor can name the worlds leaders;
most of your schooling spent with some ink blots,
avoiding the stay with bottom feeders.
But I love you, you idiot, you know.
You have harvested our love, row by row.