A Work in Progress

I am happy to report that I officially got my "C" last week.  PA-C that is, after stumbling through a five hour, life-changing exam.   A few weeks ago I was really feeling fine about it until my neighbor said "Oh you're test is soon?  Pretty cool as it's like the culmination of two years work right?"  I left the conversation wide-eyed thinking, yes, two years of work.  Although that isn't so accurate.  Really, it's been like three years of taking prerequisites, re-teaching myself chemistry, saving money, boosting my resume, applying, being rejected, applying again, waiting to start, then 26 months of studying and scraping by, moving twice, working all of the holidays, first days, feeling intimidated, scrubbing in, fitting in, moving on, conferences, studying, studying, studying.  As I walked away and all of this sank in, I started to panic, and panic studying gets me nowhere.   What did I do with the last few months?  Why did I re-w...

So.  I guess I should do a little update...then about 100 more. Three years ago I made the decision to "go to PA school"  which I wanted to keep to myself due to the absolute impossibility of success. Somehow, everyone found out anyway.  I wanted to prevent the future conversation of "Hey, weren't you going to go back to school?"  "Me?"(looks around feebly) "No, I don't remember that." Quite happily, I can report that I won't be having that conversation (Unless it goes "Hey, weren't you in PA school?"  "Me?"(looks around feebly) "No, I don't remember that.")  and I will be starting PA school in the coming summer! I found out last week and have vacillated between joy, disbelief, and terror ever since. There was literally a 0.05 % chance of success so it really seems crazy to me. I couldn't even tell you 'why me?' although I am sure my overly kind-hearted friends would give you so...

In preparation for potentially, maybe, hopefully applying for and going to PA school, this year I'm going to be taking (and re-taking) some prerequisites.  I figure that that this is a necessary step,  a review for what I will actually need to retain now, and serve to ease me back into academic life. I had my first class today.  I've been joking that I can't wait to be the older adult student who screws up the curve for everyone.  Today, though, I realized that I (at 31) just might be the oldest person in the class.  I sought refuge by sitting next to who is probably the second oldest person in the class who just so happens to be working on getting into PA school.  So, I'll have to kill her. I am excited to take A&P again, after 10 years of secretly wanting to retake it because the material is so amazing, but so abundant that I definitely lost (or never had) much of it. The class was fine and basically nothing happened.  I remember loving the f...

Yes, I'm one of those assholes.  The one that says "Well, I know college isn't for everyone." while secretly thinking, "Except for my kids.  Only idiots don't go to college." But the truth is, college isn't for everyone.  Countless non-idiots have made it their whole lives without going to college.  In fact, most people I know didn't go to college and they're doing just fine.  It's only weirdos like me who can't seem to get enough. And the thing is, college is no longer a golden ticket to a 'successful' life.  I recently ran into an old friend I knew in high school.  She went to college and majored in (what I would usually phrase as) something useless like...drama. I made that face.  That face that every asshole makes when someone tells me they majored in drama, or art, or dance.  That face that says "way to waste all of your money and four years of your life."  That face that says "How's working as a ...

I just finished brushing my teeth when I heard a weird noise down the hall in my bedroom.  Noises themselves are not unusual, bedtime is a typical period for the cats to decide to run amock around the house.  But there was something about this noise.  Ready to yell at the cats, I peeked in my room to see a bat, alive and well, on the floor surrounded by two curious cats.  "Oh, **** there's a bat in here." was all I had to say as I did an immediate aboutface and went dowstairs.  Now, I am no stranger to domestic crises, but this was different.  Realizing that this bat was now between myself and my phone, and on the floor, I grabbed a sheet and bravely headed back upstairs.  But the bat, being a winged creature, afterall, had regained altitude and was now clinging to the wall somewhere where my cats could see it, but I could not.  They were beside themselves, presented with a moving, alive toy, I could barely get their attention.  Before I m...

I started this post back in last summer. I finally dreamed up the last couple while cleaning out my drafts. I'm cleaning out my draft posts because I am nearing a blogger milestone, so I want to be perfectly clear how many posts I have. Yes, I acknowledge that at least 30 per year for the last 6 years were basically cheating (the photo a day project) But...they count as posts. Anyway. Apparently I was feeling pumped about life and wondering what I might have told my 15 year old self. Here are a few things I've learned in 30 years...at least the things that look good on paper. As I turn 30, I must say I'm feeling pretty good.  29 had a much more palpable and depressive effect on me.  But this year, I've had such an action packed birthday week, that I haven't had time to contemplate too deeply turning 30.  I've wanted to be an adult my whole life, so I don't really mind.  That and I get to say things like "I've seen Toy Story way too many tim...

Last week, my 97 year old grandmother died peacefully at home.  I wanted to share this eulogy with you who may not have known her. “97” I said, answering again her famous question of “How old am I?” “Well, I guess that's why my back hurts.” She replied. “97” I repeated. “Well, that's pretty old, I guess.” she chuckled. “97” I told her. “Well, I guess I'm lucky to have lived this long. You know, I've had a good life.” As Grandmoms youngest (of 10) grandchild, I worry I am unqualified to say anything. It's odd to think that I only knew Grandmom for about a third of her life, but I was lucky to feel that in that time, I really knew her. Though obviously, she was a different person than that one whom scrimped to buy a balloon at the fair, different than the young woman who picked up discarded coal to keep her family warm, different than the woman whom started a successful business with the man she loved.  I knew the Grandmom who would shoot a ground hog ...

What annoys me the most about driving are the drivers whom are completely inconsistent. Those who speed up in the passing zone but manage to stay well under the speed limit at all other times. Those who will go five miles under the speed limit on the outskirts, then magically go fifteen over in a residential area. Those who can't manage to maintain the same speed while going up and down a hill. This, my friends, is one of my biggest pet peeves. Which leads me to some random thoughts I've had about consistency. I started my current job six years ago. I feel that for a younger person, six years can make quite a difference. This time was really the genesis of my career. Though I feel like I've almost always had it all together, that's not true. There was a time in there when I just stopped caring. I was lazy and horrible. Generally got the job done, but more in a 15 year old 'what's the least I have to do to get by' sort of way. There was a period w...

I have been wondering how to make the blog more awesome.  Wait, I've got it- write on it more?  No, that's silly.  Surely it will get more awesome just by exisiting.  I mean, that's an eight year archive you have to catch up on.  Isn't that enough? Of course not.  A daily post seems a little much, don't you think?  I mean if you're subjected to my daily thoughts you'll end up with something like this.  I've been using the phrase "I see."  Too often.  I read and audit all of the charts at work and I've noticed that I've responded to messages with "I see."  I literally mean, "OH, I get it!"  in a happy understanding sort of way.  But I realize now that "I see" only comes out as menacing or sarcastic.  "I see."  he said as he pressed his fingertips together and sat back on his throne.  A faint smile crossed his lips as he continued with carefully measured words.  "You shall be hung by the n...

As I write this, it isn't the 31st.  It's not even the 1st, but in my defense, it's been an odd couple of days.  I arrived from India on the morning of the 31st.  From there, I went almost directly to my Grandmother's house for our annual Christmas get-together.  Of course, I stopped at home and hugged the cats for about 100 hours first. The whole of the day was more or less a blur, jet lag has a way of making you feel drunk when your not.  On the 1st I went to the movies and unpacked.  They say that what yo do on new year's day, you 'do all year.'  I'd be okay with that.  On the 2nd I went to work, and on the 3rd, I learned that I had been, um, relieved of my duties at my part time job.  This was both surprising and not surprising, and completely followed their pattern of not caring about their employees, or even the service.  That's really all I can say about that without getting extremely mad or sad.  At the same time, the rug ...

Gandhi's library.

Full service taxi. 

For the first time ever, I was coerced/forced/dragged to a post Thanksgiving shopping event.  There is a clear cast of black Friday shopping characters.  "The Planner" is strategic, cunning, and comes clutching competitors ads. They probably have a wing woman or two to grab and growl on their behalf. "The Bloodthirsty One" will do whatever it takes, including throw themselves on a pile of crock pots while shouting "I'm buying all of these, nobody touch them!" at the top of their voice.  They'll enter the store with three carts, not just to fill them, but also as personal crowd control. "The Ninja" took something out of your hands and checked out before you knew it.  Cart-less, ruthless, and back in the car within five minutes. Those unfortunate enough to find themselves as "The Newbie" can't find a parking place, a cart, what they came for, and is at the end of every line.  They skipped Thanksgiving dessert for this crap...

As I said in my last post, I am still employed, thank goodness.  In the time that I learned about these lay-offs and now, I decided to put double sided tape on my resume and throw it in all directions, just to see if it sticks anywhere. Short story is that it hasn't.  But I have only heard back officially from one place.  I applied to a job I was mostly qualified for for the local government of my town.  I guess they're in a rush because I was asked to interview within a week of applying.  I caught the closing date just in time, which was one of those silly things that made me think "It's meant to be!" despite that I don't believe in that. But anyway.  I put on my absolute best and absolute only business-type outfit and drove the five minutes to the interview.  A job that's five minutes from my door again reiterated "It's meant to be!".  Silly me. I was nervous.  Really nervous.  All of my previous job interviews were laughably easy ...

It is a sobering thought when you realize that everything you have and maintain you have because of your job.  Sobering, scary, and very adult. It is one thing to realize this when gamely and happily employed.  At that point, it's something to muse about and help to motivate you to do your best to maintain that job.  It is quite another thing to realize this at the same time your job is suddenly hanging in the balance. Many people avoid making adulthood career changes.  It makes sense to stay:  retirement plans, steady incomes, climbing that ladder, but what if that ladder is taken away while you're nearing the top? I've been thinking about this problem a lot recently, as it came to light that my part time and full time jobs would be downsizing at the end of the year.  I want to make enough money and I want to be proud of the patch on my shoulder.  I started this post when all this silliness at work was happening.  For about a week I convin...

The cooler weather, the fact that the mini is currently out of service, an I have to take the truck to work has gotten me back on the kayaking bandwagon.  It had been far too long since my last sojurn to the lake.  I can measure how long it's been by how easily I can get the rack and kayak on the truck.  It's also been the first time I've regularly taken the new fancy cam on the water, and I'm pretty pleased with the results.  I don't really know why this deserves it's own post.  I think I just feel bad for september. 

September is one of my favorite months.  Topped only by October and November.  I'm a fall girl.  This year, I noticed that I didn't do any blog posts in September.  Shock!  Horror!  So, I decided to do a retrodated post to tell you why.  Don't get excited, there's no one real reason, but it's been a busy month. 1.  The Fair.  The fair in my town is the best event of the year and I try to go as often as possible in th week.  As a kid, I liked the rides and games, but as an adult I go for food and adorable baby animals.  So much food.  I can't even tell you the wonderus things that could delight your taste buds at the fair.  But I can tell you that my brother's friend from NYC insisted on making it an annual trip because she loved the food so much.  Additionally, I love the demolition derby.  It's good old fashioned american fun and I love it.  I feel so united with my countrymen at this event.  We all w...

I've found that using 'I can't do that tomorrow, I'm driving a Lamborghini.' as an excuse is very satisfying, especially when it's true. Last week, with my dad and friends we went and participated in a super car driving experience.  It was about five minutes of driving bliss.  The track was set up in a parking lot, which doesn't sound glamorous, but they packed in as many turns as possible.  And when you're in a Lamborghini, that's what matters.   Although, I would have liked to drive it in a straight line for a longer time, just to see how fast I could brave.  It is a powerful car.  So powerful that when I did get to punch it on the straight, the speed pushed me back in the seat and my foot slightly off of the pedal.  If you're wondering, it was an automatic, or had stupid flappy paddle shifters.  I did a lap and a half with the paddles before the guy asked me if I wanted to switch.  "I don't know.  How am I doing?"  "No so w...

I love facebook, but it has its drawbacks, as we all know. Poised to turn 30, it is my generation whom has taken over this free version of classmates.com and made it what it is today: a place where we can all annoy each other based on accomplishments, vacations, jobs, spouses, and babies. I’ve seen pictures of babies I will never meet, weddings I didn’t attend, and vacations I didn’t go on. It’s really rather insane. While I love hearing about everyone’s successes and accomplishments, seeing your vacation pictures and keeping up with kids I rarely see, sometimes it’s all too much. Now I know that I’m guilty of too many pictures, too many meaningless updates, and too many ‘wish you were here’ posts, but...I don’t know, I’m empowered to complain. Here’s a list of things I’d consider banning if I were in charge of anything. 1. Baby development pictures. I know you’re excited about your baby and you should be! I just don’t want to see every moment of its gestation. Especial...

It's been an odd year, I guess. If I say that every year, then what does a normal year consist of? I just read through my whole blogging year and although it didn't take me very long, due to a shameful lack of posts, I think it was pretty good. I did a little travel, a little car buying (get it? little?) and had some good times at work. Having reviewed last years 'end of the year' post I have concluded that I should read that post sometime in June. That way I can remember my 'resolutions' and maybe be inspired to tackle one or two of them. I did accomplish, finally, a throw back resolution and bought a super expensive fancy smallish flashlight for work. It is obnoxiously bright and I have already used it at work. Result! Also, I bought it at the Bean, so if it ever goes wrong, I'll get a new one for free. The Bible, the Torah, the Quran, and for fun, let's say the book of Mormon are all still unread. I went on only one first date and it was m...