A Work in Progress

Last week I participated in the local Polar Bear Plunge. Let me tell you now, there are at least 11,000 certifiably insane people in Maryland. That many people, (myself included) voluntarily got in the Chesapeake Bay in January. It is completely not normal to go out on a beach, bundled against the winter wind, and begin to take clothes off. Not normal. It was a lot of fun though, it is a much bigger deal than I imagined with corporate sponsors, sand sculptures, and a lot of people. After hanging around for awhile, we made our way to the beach and claimed our spot. I changed into sandals which was just the beginning of the weird. Suddenly we were surrounded by strangers who are all slowly removing all their outerwear. Happily, it wasn't a long wait before we could run like maniacs into the water. After shouting a few expletives we then immediately ran like maniacs out of the water. It is not a surprise that it was more than a little cold. Thanks to my kind donors, I collected a lov...

Yesterday I was called to the highway to assist police with a possible diabetic. When I got there I found an obviously hypo lady who was generally confused about pretty much everything. I filled her with sugar and then we tried to piece her story together. This patient was a diabetic, doing a fasting blood test that morning, so by the time I saw her, she hadn't eaten in over 12 hours. She remembered testing her sugar that morning and driving toward the doctors office. Twenty miles in the wrong direction later, she was pulled over because she was driving across all the lanes on the highway. Luckily the cop recognized that she was not drunk, despite looking like, driving like, and speaking like she was, and called an ambulance. About half way to the hospital, the patient wondered if she even got to the blood test. Aside from where I put an IV in, there wasn't a mark on her. Needless to say, she was quite freaked out that she had basically woken up far from home, unsure o...

At part time work there is a ski resort in our first due. From day one of opening our ER there is flooded with injured skiers and snowboarders. The medic unit treats a fair few of them as well, usually the head injuries that will be taken to trauma centers. The other day I was there and the ambulance brought in a wrist injury. This poor soul had taken a fall from his snowboard (the details of which I'm unsure of.) When we took off the splint, his forearm had an extra joint and his wrist made a nice s-curve. Ew. When the ortho guy came to set it, I asked if I could observe. He said sure, and asked me to get him a bucket of water that was exactly 101.4 degrees. I was a little afraid of him, and alas, he merely wanted to see the confused look on my face and to watch me hurriedly look for a bucket and then ask around for something to test the temperature of it. We chatted about fractures and such while the patient was lulled into la-la land via morphine and versed. Then I took...

As you can imagine, I have already produced quite a robust list of things I have to do/sort out before the WAP can work. There are a lot of logistics. I also find that I worry about very silly things like how useful is it to bring shampoo, how many shirts to bring, what kind of bookbag I might need, how readily available school supplies will be, and are there any advantages to buying a laptop there? Yes, one: the pound sign on the keyboard. (£££ Is that a good enough reason?) I have learned that my car has to be insured, even if it will be parked for a year. I can't take a year long educational leave of absence at work so I will have to quit and be rehired. Whatever. Hopefully the same bosses will be there and it will be somewhat easy. My passport will expire while I'm gone, and will cost $75 to renew. Thankfully, they will return my old one with the new one! My national registry expires next spring, but in a surprising and out of character gesture, they will allow me to ren...

Ah so, this vaguely mysterious plan. I can safely reveal it now, because if it falls through it will be the fault of "the system" and not of my own shortcomings. I have been accepted to grad school! That is the wild ass plan, but what makes it particularly "wild ass" is that to go to the school, my next step it to apply for an educational visa. If the plan continues successfully, I will soon be in DC getting my retinas scanned and fingerprints put into a database so that I can be a fake British citizen for a year. Why go to grad school in England? You may ask. Why not. Aside from being a huge Anglophile, I am in a spot in my life where I am unencumbered by mortgages, loans, husbands, children, or anything else big that may prevent this plan from being carried out at a later date. Also, when it's time for me to well, make more money, I can look for a job as a green emergency planner/manager. Though I have a feeling that it will take a long time for the par...

I can climb rocks! Okay, I can climb on rock-like man made things drilled into a wall. But really, who knew?! Despite my best efforts, I had a really fun time, and met both of my goals. I didn't die, and I got more than a foot off the ground, success! When I got to the top, I really wanted a bell to ring, or a bull horn, or something, so I just shouted "Ding Ding!" as if I had done something spectacular. Then came the hard part, which was getting down. To do this, you basically just let go of the wall. Let go of the wall, that is funny. From there your trusty belayer carefully lowers you back to safety. Fantastic. It's the letting go that's the hard part, so I just had a death grip on the rope on the way down. It was a lot of fun, and an exhilarating way to get a good workout. Great, just what I need is another expensive hobby. Photographic evidence: Climbing Pictures

I drive home with the radio on, trying to forget your dead face. I stand under my shower, trying to forget your panicked father. I pour milk on my cereal, wondering why you tied the knots. I watch TV on the couch, trying to forget the marks on your neck. I walk to the grocery store, trying to forget the hopelessness I felt. I wander through the aisles, trying to forget the sound of your crying mother. I workout for an hour, trying not to be mad at you. I stir my frozen dinner, wishing you had told someone. I drift into a restless sleep, wishing we had made a difference.

Last year was the first time I ever wrote down any so-called resolutions for the new year. I think I should make more tangible resolutions for 2009 as most of them last year were cognitive , but I feel I did a pretty good job at sorting them out. Firstly, I have set one of my wild ass plans into motion, and am now playing the waiting game with that. I will hopefully have more to tell, but I'll wait until there is something to tell, lest I look stupid. I did quit my crappy job about two weeks after I resolved to, and I am now about to happily celebrate my one year anniversary with the not crappy job. I got a flashlight for work, but it is still pretty bad. It is bright, but works only when it wants to and sometimes not even then. I find myself shaking it violently to life while on calls. So, I'll keep that resolution on the list for this year. I find myself poised to enter a relationship, where things now are still tentative, shy, new, and exciting. I felt exhilaration man...

A playmobil nativity scene, a leg lamp (aka 'electric sex') , and a kayaking Santa.

My day so far has been kind of, well, basic. I did a transport in the AM (a 36 year old getting a cardiac cath . Scary stuff) From there um, I have actually completely forgotten half of our calls. I have even just asked my partner and he can't remember either. I guess that the calls don't need any more explanation than that. How sad is that? Oh, that's right! The one with the pushy daughter, he has reminded me. We walked into the so-called "sick person" and were greeted by the daughter who demanded our names and that we shut the front door before we could even see the patient. That kind of behavior puts a bad taste in my mouth from the start. In actuality, the daughter needed to take her mom to the doctors office, but was afraid she'd fall down and she didn't want that responsibility. So, we dutifully sat her up, and walked her to the cot, as 'doctor's office' quickly turned into 'hospital' after we got there. I asked the daughter if he...

Last night I met a man at work who is in the running for biggest idiot of the year. I call him a 'man' to reiterate that he does not have the excuse of youth and inexperience to fall into drugs. We were called at 0330 this morning because he decided it would be a good idea to watch relative strangers mash up "pills" melt them down into a spoon, draw them up into a hypodermic that might have come from a used sharps box (or God knows where), and inject it into his vein. Doing this, rightly so, made him classically "feel funny" and have a period of severe chest pain. Thank you, Mr. Idiot, now I am awake and my 3am mind is trying to wrap around a 35 year old guy who would do this to himself. I couldn't find anything wrong with him, as by the time we arrived, his funny feeling had subsided. Now he didn't even want to go to the hospital. Fine. Easier for me. Somehow he was spared from the long version, of "Do you know how stupid it is to do th...

Behold! This years' EMS tree. There are needles on my Christmas tree....no really. I might have gotten a little carried away with the picture taking. But it is fairly fabulous.

I have a cat. She is cute but useless. About two weeks ago, I noticed little teeth marks in my bar of hand soap that is on the kitchen sink. Tiny, rodent sized teeth marks. So, I put out a little trap. A few days later, I heard it in between the walls loudly chewing its way through, well, something that must have been very difficult to chew through, because it was making a lot of noise. At midnight. On this day, kitty was inordinately fascinated with staring at the sound coming from the walls. A cat possessed, she stared and stared, waiting for it to burst forth or something. The next night, I came into the kitchen, flipped on the light, and had just enough time to see this rodent jump out of my recycle bin and under my oven. I'm afraid I may have screamed like a girl. At this stage, Kitty was sleeping in another room. Completely uninterested in our visitor now that it was in plain view. What's with that?! So, I redoubled my efforts to capture the thing, and became ...

An class assigned sonnet-like response to "My mistress' eyes are nothing like the sun" by the bard himself. It's not perfect iambic pentameter, but amusing. Some may want those abs to be a six pack, oh, but yours, I’m afraid is two liters; that and your tattoo of some womans’ rack, are barely hidden by your wife beater. You drive a tractor all day with a frown, you farm; in your trade no man is wiser; a hard worker from sun up to sun down, sadly your product is fertilizer. A solid education, you have not, you won’t be, nor can name the worlds leaders; most of your schooling spent with some ink blots, avoiding the stay with bottom feeders. But I love you, you idiot, you know. You have harvested our love, row by row.

Why do we fear aging? We try to prevent it, to stave it off. We wish to be younger, to pull the reins of time. We damn the wrinkles, dye the hair, cover the spots. We can’t wait to grow up, then can’t wait to stop. Still, we covet our parents’ experience, and long for our grandmothers’ wisdom. I do not fear age, no, I embrace the passage of time, as the older I get, the more I realize how stupid I was yesterday.

When I started this blog I swore not to blog unless I had something of interest to blog about. I think I've pretty much stuck to that. Except for right now. It has been a long time since my last post, and I don't really have anything interesting to post now. Technically I am wasting your time. The best thing to happen at work recently was when we got PEEP valves for our vents. Also, I got a few more items for my, what will now be, annual EMS Christmas tree . Still holding out for a good topper though. Any suggestions? Next week I should have the last of the pottery class pots ready for your visual enjoyment. They are more pot-like than the first batch. I have made small steps toward what I am calling "Wild Ass Plan #1." More on that later, I hope, but the stars must align for it all to happen. It would bring an interesting chapter to the blog though. There I go again, blogging about nothing. I have recently gone on a pretty successful 1st date. Second to f...

What happens when you open the side door of an ambulance into the screen of the zoll E series? It cracks the screen and makes it useless! What happens when you leave it on the desk of your boss and run away? Well, I'm not sure yet. I didn't have a bow to put on it as an early Christmas present, but I did leave a note offering my apology and first born child. At first glance I didn't think it was too bad, then I turned it on.

I am good at being single. I am getting used to it. I heat pizzas for one and laugh at my own jokes. I am independently minded, and find fun as the third wheel. I watch demoralizing chick flicks, have daytime fantasies of serendipitous meetings. I am self sufficient. I eat lucky charms for dinner and sleep late in the middle of the bed. I am bad at being single. I look and wait, but I don’t know where to find him. And when I do find someone I like, I have named our children, before I look at his left hand. When I feel lonely I don’t know where to turn. I settle for my cat.

Old search terms that I've been meaning to publish, but had not gotten around to it. I'm not sure these actually get you to the blog anymore, but they did at least once! "free pictures of full English breakfast" I'd rather have it in real life than in pictures. If I had any pictures, I wouldn't charge. "pictures of paramedics in England" I love that this yields my blog and pictures of soccer. "my health work in progress" Health is indeed a work in progress. "Surgical Crike and Pictures" Yahoo wanted to change this search to "surgical crimes and pictures." "aberrantly conducted" which google tried to changed to "apparently conducted" haha, sounds like pulseless elctrical activity to me. "work in progress good to go shirt" When the blog is popular enough to need a t-shirt, I'll keep this in mind. "what it means to carry junk in your pocket" A deep philosophical question indee...

A few days ago my state trooper preceptor was hit by a car while taking a jog on vacation. He has subsequently died from his injuries. I can’t begin to take on the feelings of his wife and children. But I know that he was a good man, and for a few twelve hour shifts three winters ago, he took me under his wing, showed me how to be a good paramedic, and kept me safe. He told me that with integrity, I could go anywhere in this business. How right he was. He was a preceptor who told me “You’re in charge.” and from there let me make decisions and run his scenes. How ironic it is to work on a medivac helicopter and die in a vehicle accident. I am sick with this loss. Link Link