A Work in Progress

Last night was my last city shift and last clinical of the semester. Yay! Our first and only interesting call was for an overdose. The patient was on an MTA bus. She was sitting up, conked out with sporadic snoring respirations. I started the IV (my fastest yet!) and drew up the Narcan. I gave it to her and about a minute later she woke up, good as new, until about a minute after that, she started puking everywhere. Now, everyone that knows me knows that I have strict rules about vomiting. I have my ‘no puke zones’ which basically include every area within, let’s say, a 50 yard radius of me. I just hate it. Well, who doesn’t really? If somebody’s throwing up, no one says: “Ooh, where! Let me see!” So, we’re in pretty close quarters with this patient as she was puking all over. Then suddenly I thought: “Hey, I’m okay. I feel fine!” I was so proud of my tummy for not letting me down in this most gross situation; no queasiness here! We finally got rid of her (just ...

What a bizarre evening I had yesterday. My last ER shift was anything but forgettable. Let’s see. The highlight of the day could be one of many things: a. I was successful on all of my IV attempts. This was uber exciting considering my ER record. I hate sticking people twice. Needless to say there was plenty of happy dancing and pleased patients. b. On my last shift there was a guy in one of the psych rooms who had already been there for a while. He needed a place in a mental hospital and had run out of is schizophrenia meds. Imagine my surprise when he was still there last night. He was not transferred until I left, making his ER stay an extreme 96 hours! A classmate of mine also saw him over the weekend. At that time he was using the butter from his lunch as lotion. Note to self: don’t run out of psych meds. c. I missed cafeteria dinner, so I went to an alternative food place in the hospital for dinner. My supper of champions consisted of a muffin. Nutritious and delicious! I decided...

Last night was probably the nicest ER shift I’ve had thus far. Fortunately it was my second to last ER shift. That thought alone makes my day better. I was 2 for 2 on my IVs and did a few direct blood draws, fun! The funniest story started long before I arrived. The patient in question had been seen and discharged twice before my shift started. First he was taken to his ‘home’ by a private ambulance company. Unfortunately for them it was a false address. When no one answered the phone at home the pt. claimed that they didn’t usually pick up. When aforementioned private ambo company discovered the fake address, they brought the patient back to the ED. Said pt. was later discharged again. I must mention here that he was missing an important extremity and had an ugly unhealed abscess in a nasty place. (so yucky that the tech said, “You can come in and help as long as you don’t breathe and don’t laugh.” a worthy challenge) Now, back to the story. At the time of this discharge, he felt it w...

I never like reading really long entries, so I figured you didn't either. Later that night we had a call for an unresponsive person. The patient was responsive when we got there. You could tell she was feeling better, especially when she threw a beer bottle at her boyfriend. She was even more awake when she started slapping the crap out of him. That’s when we left and waited for the police outside. We got three regular police cars and a car of plain clothes cops, that was pretty cool. We were hit out for a hurt foot at a nearby recreation center. We found this big guy lying on the floor crying and yelling “Don’t touch it!” referring to his ankle. As my preceptor put it, the ankle was definitely, probably, for sure, maybe, really, perhaps, undoubtedly, perchance broken. But this guy was acting like his leg got cut off. He had new tattoos all over him and looked like he could take a lot. Now, my mother had a bilateral malleolus a few years ago, and she barel...

I was in the city a few nights ago. My preceptor and I are talking, and he rags me for using too many alcohol preps again! He said, “You’re good at IVs, but you take too long, and you use too many alcohol wipes. You’re not gonna get an aseptic field here.” I know, I know, but I can’t help it! You practice how you play, so I’ll probably be using ‘too many preps’ forever. He is right about fast. When you need an IV, you need an IV. But, when I’m a medic, I’m going to use as many alcohol preps as I want. For the rest of the night, I’m thinking ‘quick and dirty’ IVs. My first call in the city that required ALS was also my first experience with the wonder drug, Narcan. We pulled up to find this guy sprawled out on the parking lot of a gas station. An engine crew was already there, bagging him. My preceptor said, okay, start a line. Wait a sec, this dude isn’t breathing! I wanna tube him! Then, as soon as I turned over his hand, I realized why he only needs an IV. He had already used his vei...

Part two of my auditory clinicals. On the IV front, last night was better. Some successes and a few direct blood draws, (I’m happy to report I’m no longer afraid of butterfly needles). Something new was when my nurse and I took bloods from one guy by him sticking a butterfly into his radial artery…that was interesting. That same patient had a tracheostomy and needed a vent to help him breathe. Unfortunately, something was wrong with the vent and it kept making this God awful noise. Imagine the most annoying noise you ever heard…then double it in annoyingness and intensity. Now play it in you head every five minutes or so for about two minutes...for about an hour. Pleasant, no? That’s what the vent was doing and it was making me crazy, I heard it all the way home. I was sitting at the nurses station while this was going on and a random voice from one of the nearby rooms yells “Turn that effing thing OFF!!” (you can imagine he did not say ‘effing’) but, my sentiment ...

The last two nights I had shifts in the ED. As a result I’m posting two entries today, yay! The underlying themes of these shifts had to do with hearing, and the borderline loss of my IV mojo. It’s only slightly reassuring when the local “IV masters” (as I like to call them) tell you “Oh don’t worry, everyone has a bad day.” Funny, they say that even though they just got that ridiculous IV on your last patient after you missed twice in their best veins. It was just so sad, a Sunday night: no happy dances, wasted 20 gauges, and alcohol preps freakin’ everywhere! (one of the days few redeeming features). Other than that on Sunday we had this guy who was older than dirt and stone deaf. For some reason he came sans hearing aid which allowed for some hilarity. Everytime I went by the room, rather, anytime I was in the vicinity of his room, I could hear someone yelling something at him. There’s not much friendly banter when a patient can’t hear. Questions like “Do yo...

In a valiant effort to avoid work today I opened a photobucket account and put up some pictures for your viewing pleasure. There are a few of me, and others from my travels. I do feel it's presumptuous of me to think you have nothing better to do than look at my pictures, but I don't have anything more entertaining to offer you. There are plenty of fun ways to waste time on the internet, and I consider myself somewhat of an expert in the field. I've written a handbook called: “The Internet and you: Wasting time Efficiently" I was toying with other titles such as- “The Internet is more effective at wasting your time than TV: a case study.” “The Internet: differentiating between useless trivia and false facts” “1 Million and 1 uses for the IMDB” “A college students guide to the Internet” “Proficiency at procrastination” Well, if you're still up for a little time wasting, here's the link to my pics, enjoy! I'm going to try to make my evening more productive ...

Everyone in the health service industry must experience hypochondria every once in a while, you just know too much. It’s my time. Last week I had a little cold, although I insisted I was not sick. My generic “Dayquil” and copious amounts of vitamin C told that cold where to go. Then, on Thursday I started to feel weird. I felt extremely tired for no reason and just plain beat. I chose to ignore it, but abstained from usual ER night activities, (except for watching ER). On Friday I went out for happy hour, but immediately after the happiness set in, I felt the extreme tiredness again (okay, I’ll throw in a medical term here: malaise. This word perfectly describes how I was feeling.) Oh yeah, I also adopted this lovely healthy sounding and ladylike cough. At this point I definitely had TB. (That one patient I saw last week was coughing…I think, yeah, well, at least when I die I’ll be in good company with Chopin, Thoreau, and Eleanor Roosevelt.) So right there at happy hour I could have c...

I think this is what my preceptor may start calling me. I administered my first IV med yesterday and apparently I use excessive alcohol preps. Now, come on. I’m practicing for national registry! I’ve got to do this crap right! I need at least 2 preps for the IV site. Plus, I feel that if there is still ‘dirt’ on the second one, that calls for a third. Then, I need one for the medication bottle, and one for the Y port site. Also, I need a couple for the bench seat, the floor, to develop my OCD, in case someone faints, one to de-funk my pen, and others for miscellaneous scrubbing and cleansing; the uses are endless. Then, what if I drop one? (as I did, and thank God I had an extra!) I’m not sure how it happened but when I was finished administering 2 doses of Narcan there were alcohol preps strewn all over the ambulance. What can I say? I like them. Maybe it’s the clean feeling I get from using them. Or, maybe it’s a subconscious attempt to override the stank that some patients produce w...

Not a patient's hyperglycemia, silly, mine! Wheeee! It is Easter Sunday and following my annual Lenten venture of giving up sweets of all kinds, I've embarked on my traditional sugary goodness binge. There's nothing like starting the day with marshmallow peeps, rounding out the afternoon with no less than 1 million Cadbury mini eggs, and finishing up the day with a large chunk of angel food cake. Ah, heaven. This year I have a practical use for the sugar, to inspire me to finish up a paper and presentation due tomorrow. (A project due on the Monday after spring break?! I can’t believe it either. It should be against the law. I’m going to fine my teacher for messing with spring break. I think $300 should do it.) Break was pretty nice. At my home station I taught my first 2 CPR classes. It was pretty fun and those mannequins sure do come in handy. I sent one to a boring meeting dressed in my clothes, another one to the dentist, used one to get me into the HOV lane, and got to...

There are few things more satisfying than seeing the flash when starting an IV. Every time I see it, I want to jump up and do a dance, but I manage restrain myself. I don't like to show my craziness to patients...at least not while I have a needle in their arm. I had a city shift last weekend. It was my first day shift and I think I liked it better. I was lost slightly less than 100% of the time, which was nice. I can't stand not knowing where I am, and it was easier to keep track in the daylight. I started a record two IVs, and gave glucagon, my first real drug. This was a pretty harrowing experience. Glucagon has to be reconstituted and, of course, we were already rolling when I started, so I got to almost stick myself about 4 times. There is definitely an art to wielding a needle in the back of a moving ambulance. I also got my first call for a violent crime, a cutting. I was bandaging this while my patient was sitting on the marble steps of a formstone house in the heart of...

Last night was less craptacular (fewer drunks) but more downtime, which always has me on edge for some reason. I got two IV attempts (1 success), an EKG, and a neb. Maybe the funniest bit of the night was when my nalgene bottle which was sitting in the 'action area' was launched into the oxygen compartment when OGM hit the brakes. I felt like an idiot, but when I went to retrieve it, it fell out of the ambulance onto the parking lot, and came through its adventure unscathed. Now I'm a nalgene believer. On my second IV of the night the patient noted that she was a difficult stick. My preceptor said: "Oh, don't worry, Ellie here was the 2004 phlebotomist of the year." The patient replied: "Oh, good!" and I thought: "Oh crap!" because he was totally making that up. No matter, I got the IV, and can therefore retain my title. I will be passing on the crown and the needle shaped scepter soon though. I've been formulating my retirement speech ...

I’m whatever color cloud that reaps crappy calls all shift. My preceptor suggested I get a talisman of some sort and pray to it for better calls, either that, or never come back because I’m bad luck. If a Baltimore City police officer had to spell my night they would say: Bob, Uncle, Lincoln, Log, Charlie, Rash, Apple, Pencil. You can get this great romantic feeling riding in the back of a Baltimore city medic unit. The BELIEVE sticker in the window, siren wailing at traffic, the lights reflecting off of store fronts and residences as you fly by on your way to heal and help people. I’ve learned that romantic feeling dissolves quickly when you realize you could get a buzz from your patients’ vodka flavored breath. Last night was my first real experience with drunks (I’m a medium town girl). I hope that I never find them anything but amusing. Envision pulling up behind a police car in an alley. The officer is standing on the sidewalk looking down at a guy who is half under the car, just ...

I love my hospital ID badge (even though it says I'm an EMT student). It opens almost everything, and it's on one of those retractable ID holders with the string for extra fun. I can wave it at doors, staff elevators, children, refrigerators, supply closets, the elderly, and at the parking garage. It's great fun to walk down the hall unlocking all the doors with just a wave of the ID badge. And it's so easy, just wave and snap!....But I digress. Last night was my first ER clinical. It was pretty cool. I did about four 12 lead EKGs, all unremarkable, took a ton of vitals, and showed a strong 100% IV success rate (1/1 counts, right?) I also got to watch a spinal tap. Now, there's an unnatural procedure. I was glad I was wearing a mask, especially when I realized my mouth was hanging open. I looked from the patient to the cerebrospinal fluid and back again thinking: "That's your CSF! That's not supposed to be out here!" Later, after a couple of failed...

Today I went sledding with a couple of friends for the first time at UMBC. I can't remember the last time I (slid?) and I forgot how freaking fun it is! Not only did I go sledding, but I got to use a dining hall tray (obtained from sources unknown) which I think was pretty funny. It was the most use I ever got out of one of those. It's snowing pretty heavily here now, as it has been for most of the day. If they don't call school soon, I think the commuters in my class will self destruct! Since we Marylanders are quite frightened of the snow, it's likely school will be closed again tomorrow. (yay! more time to...uh...study, yeah, that's it.) So, my Mom said that my blog was "boring" so I decided to put in a couple amusing things from my first city shift. Call #1 was for a woman who had no real chief complaint but she was using her hair to store a big, red comb. (no, the call was not for a foreign object in the hair.) I guess you never know when you'll n...

I had my first Baltimore City clinical last night. I was full of anxiety all day before I got there, and I'm not even sure why. I hate being late, and I was afraid the ambo would leave without me, and I'd have to sit there like a goof waiting for them to come back (if they ever did). I was also worried that my preceptor would be, how can I put this? Unpleasant, that's a good word for it. But, as it turned out, my preceptor is awesome, and couldn't be nicer. In this blogs' future he will referred to as "my preceptor" (how original, I know. If you want, I'll come up with clever nicknames for your people too.) His partner is equally as awesome, and in this blogs' future she'll be referred to as "old gray mare" (which I didn't make up) and, as finger dexterity becomes limited after all those FISDAP forms, OGM for short. Even though I did no ALS skills and every call we had was, how can I put this? unnecessary, that's a good word f...

Today we officially learned surgical "crikes." Or cricothyrotomy, a fantastic procedure involving cutting a persons neck open, putting a tube in it and breathing for them...awesome! In fact, today I had my finger in someone's trachea! Slightly disturbing, but freakin' cool! Visiting the cadaver lab was an interesting adventure to say the least. Nothing promotes classmate bonding like being in a creepy basement with big jars of formaldehyde and two dead bodies. Regardless of the creepy factor I got to intubate my first real person, perform needle cricothyrotomy, and start some IOs. After this, Wes, Ewing, and I went and checked out my station for city clinicals. Lucky medic 13 is housed in probably the ugliest building on earth, but it seems like a pretty good end of town. Last week I participated in the International Critical Incident Stress Foundation conference. I had a good time and learned some cool stuff, but I could have done without the 5am wake ups. I won'...

I've made a blog. Check it out. Why have I made a blog? I don't know Every blog I've ever read has a healthy dose of hilarious, mostly because people write stuff in them that most people don't give a crap about. For that matter, people probably won't care to much to read mine, but whatever. If you're that interested in my "deep thoughts" you can rent my diary for $20 an hour, just let me know. I also love the extra stuff people put in blogs, but I assure you, this one won't be filled with quiz results like "You're Chlamydia!" (from the "Which STD are you?" quiz.) Really, I'd like to put my experiences as a Paramedic student at UMBC in this blog. Maybe my family can use it to keep up on my life. I'll probably end up putting completely superfluous and random thoughts in here for all to see. If you read it, great, hopefully I'll remember to update it every once in a while for you. Feel free to comment, although it...