A Work in Progress

So, hospital orientation was as torturous and terrible as I expected. There is just no improving it without getting rid of it altogether. Which, in my mind would be fine. We did in fact have an annoyingly detailed tour of the hospital. I can’t imagine an instance when I would need to know where the sleep lab is. In fact, I don’t even remember. I don’t remember anything I did for two and a half days. Well, I remember three things. The hospital has a whole host of values and of course, a mission. Why does everything need a mission? Shouldn’t it be as simple as ‘We’re a hospital. We treat patients.” Instead, our mission statement has to give us a warm fuzzy feeling. “Careful delivery of high quality patient care focused solely on improving overall health and physical stamina for the people in our community and to make the longest run-on sentence in the history of mission statements because we care about you.” The most important thing I remember is that I will be saving $175 each...

Putting in notice at work was not just a passing remark, but one of the best things I’ve done in a long time. A small hint of what I hope will be the beginning of a new and more hopeful and happy chapter in my life. I have changed my status at what will now be known as ‘crap work’ to part time. I equate this to when you tell your boyfriend that you just want to be friends, when what you really mean is that you never want to see them again. I am still part time there mostly because I felt guilty about using them for a free refresher class. I’m sure I’ll be over it soon. Also, at my new job, oh yeah, NEW JOB!!, I am taking a bit of a pay cut, so it may be handy to go and do a shift every once in awhile at crap work. And there are some good people there who I’m happy to have as friends. I finally have landed a full time spot on a chase car not too far from home. (not the same as my part time job) It’s a 24 hour schedule which is super sweet. But I think the best part is the ...

In the chase car system, I get to work with a lot of different providers in a lot of different ambulances. This is probably the most strange part of the job for me. I am used to reaching for something and knowing it’s there when I need it. Now I have to work out of my bags and arrange stuff on the bench seat that I might need. I have had only a few complaints. Me: I hate ambos without the center grab pole on the inside. (this one had two parallel ones) I am always reaching for it and then almost falling on the patient when it is not there. EMT: You mean you’d like to have one right here (gestures to the middle of the ambulance.) Me: Yeah, then I can do my routine better. (you know, my routine ) On a not particularly cold day I went to listen to base lung sounds of a patient of mine while my partner put EKG leads. Suddenly, the man let out a mighty “Yeeeeawwww!!” causing all of us to jump out of our skin. I thought that it was my partner touching his belly but it was act...

Okay. Time to ask the question that all tom boys or even quasi tom boys are required to ask for the good and advancement of woman kind. I can feel you leaning in with an ear cocked in my direction in anticipation. Who invented high heels and made them stylish and socially acceptable? Do men really find them sexy or even remotely attractive? I mean, who wants to see those poor piggies squished into a shoe two sizes too narrow? Who wants to see me stumbling around and running into things like a drunk girl? (and that’s just what happens when I attempt to get them on) If you’d like to see my toned calf muscle, I’d be happy to show you, just don’t make me wear those shoes. I would rather wear my keen sandals, they go along with my foot tan line anyway. I am in two weddings this spring, something that I am happy and honored to do. Yesterday I went with my friend to order dresses. I don’t really mind, trying on dresses is certainly not my favorite activity, but even I like gett...

Recently, I have gotten an inordinate amount of google search terms that have to do with weighing in stones. For the record, 1 stone = 14 pounds. Which is an ego booster really. Kind of like kilograms. “I only weigh 59 kilos.” “Oh really, well I only weigh 9 stone!” Here are a few more recent search terms that I found interesting. “how much do I weigh in England” I know that England is very weird, with the whole driving on the left, sitting on the right thing. I know they call chips crisps and fries chips and cookies biscuits. But, England is not the moon. I would guess that you weigh the same in England as you would anywhere else, for example, the United States. Unless, say you took a very long boat ride there and you were sick the whole time and got scurvy. Then you might weigh less in England. “how much do stones weigh in Britain” That would depend on the stone. “Pictures of paramedics working” good luck with that. “goals to set to get my paramedic” Now that’s a good o...

Today I went with my sister and her kids to a birthday party at “Chuck E. Cheese” I think the one and only time I had been to one of these was when my best friend turned six. That was about 16 years ago. I learned today why that was the first and last time and that it is no wonder we never had birthday parties there. We arrived to what was basically pandemonium. I didn’t really know what I was getting into. The kids go their tokens and we were off. The kids were, of course having great fun. Most of the games were surprisingly doable for five year olds and it’s always exciting to see a string of tickets being spewed out of an arcade game. The skee-ball area was a veritable war zone with balls and kids flying everywhere. Before I could stop her, my niece (who, to my knowledge had never played skee-ball) threw her first ball overhand toward the holes of our lane. It landed about three lanes down. Ah, it seems she has inherited my propensity for sports. Later there was the ...

I have always been curious about what other Paramedics/EMTs carry with them when they’re on the job. It is thought that rookies inherently carry so much that their pants fall down and seasoned providers barely carry a working pen. In the world of squirrel holsters, voluminous EMS pants, and hip packs, what do you carry? Here’s me. belt: pager/minitor right pant pocket: leatherman squirt, cash, led flashlight left pant pocket: chapstick, gum, an alcohol prep or two if I’m doing transfers, cell phone (or it's in my jacket) right back pocket: pad of paper left back pocket: hand drawn map right cargo pocket: trauma shears, 2 pens (one zebra pen, one ‘scrote’ pen, penlight, protocol book left cargo pocket: stethoscope (if it’s not around my neck) EMS field guide radio strap: radio (if applicable) right boot: straight razor (just kidding) Any comments appreciated!