Shoes

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Okay. Time to ask the question that all tom boys or even quasi tom boys are required to ask for the good and advancement of woman kind. I can feel you leaning in with an ear cocked in my direction in anticipation.
Who invented high heels and made them stylish and socially acceptable? Do men really find them sexy or even remotely attractive? I mean, who wants to see those poor piggies squished into a shoe two sizes too narrow? Who wants to see me stumbling around and running into things like a drunk girl? (and that’s just what happens when I attempt to get them on) If you’d like to see my toned calf muscle, I’d be happy to show you, just don’t make me wear those shoes.

I would rather wear my keen sandals, they go along with my foot tan line anyway.
I am in two weddings this spring, something that I am happy and honored to do. Yesterday I went with my friend to order dresses. I don’t really mind, trying on dresses is certainly not my favorite activity, but even I like getting new clothes. We had to order the shoes but I know that as soon as they get here, I am going to have to put them on everyday, and as the wedding gets close, I may also have to stand up in them. I will have to successfully navigate the 25 or so yards of the church aisle without breaking my ankles. Although, I am assured that everyone would have a good laugh if I fell down.
I greatly admire women who can pull off heels. They can dance, ride horses, run marathons in them. I fear that I will never be in that league. I have never been delicate or graceful and my attempts at walking in heels could be described as walking over plowed ground.

Okay, I am not one who complains about weight as I am not terribly worried about weight, although I am trying to be more fit and healthy. I was equal parts fascinated, boggled, and irritated when I went out to eat with my fellow bridesmaids yesterday (sizes 4 and 6) and while I ate one of the restaurants low fat offerings, they tucked into alfredo pasta and a cheeseburger respectively. Bless them, they are good people, but I couldn’t help being a little green.
With that fine testament to my character, I am off to practice walking in a straight line.

Comments

Anonymous said…
History: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/High_heels

I think the appeal of heels has something to do with making your legs look longer.
See: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/7192597.stm
17 January, 2008
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