Didactic Year

One post to encompass an entire year?  Pretty much, yes.  Because this year was exhausting, exciting, interesting, overwhelming, and stressful at all times.  Information flies at insane speeds into your brain, and in most cases...right out again.  PA schools seem to know that it's important to lay a foundation, then when students start seeing patients, the conditions will be reiterated and solidified.  So far, that's working, but I still worry that I won't remember the right thing at the right time.  That, and there are literal books filled with the things I don't know yet.
But...didactic year is over!  "The hard part" is over!  In ways I miss it.  I miss seeing everyone every day, and now we only see each other as a class once every six weeks. I do not miss the constant fear, looming tests, and constantly feeling behind.  Wait...constantly feeling behind is still there, but at least I can study whatever I want to catch up.  Silver linings?
I started this post several months ago and I have a slightly different take now.  Half way through clinical year and I miss didactic for a different reason...accountability.  Sure we take tests when we're back on campus, had to make a study plan, and have all subscribed to one study aid app or another, but what is missing is the constant accountability.
I have always said I hated online classes because I am not good at staying on top of things if no one tells me to.  I am right there, right now.  I would happily come home from clinical and do nothing (and have on a number of occasions).  I am struggling now with motivation, but now I think I am back on the straight and narrow.  At least, I am making some progress.  With the PANCE only potentially 8 months away, it's time to get the proverbial rear in gear.  More frightening is that in a year I will (hopefully) be starting a job where I don't just have to pass a test, I'll have to make real decisions for real patients without the luxurious student buffer.