What annoys me the most about driving are the drivers whom are completely inconsistent. Those who speed up in the passing zone but manage to stay well under the speed limit at all other times. Those who will go five miles under the speed limit on the outskirts, then magically go fifteen over in a residential area. Those who can't manage to maintain the same speed while going up and down a hill. This, my friends, is one of my biggest pet peeves.
Which leads me to some random thoughts I've had about consistency. I started my current job six years ago. I feel that for a younger person, six years can make quite a difference. This time was really the genesis of my career. Though I feel like I've almost always had it all together, that's not true. There was a time in there when I just stopped caring. I was lazy and horrible. Generally got the job done, but more in a 15 year old 'what's the least I have to do to get by' sort of way.
There was a period when I was depressed. It happens, and, like many people I couldn't really explain it. Far more than these times, I have felt confident and competent and like I was in exactly the right place. Through good times and bad, I always feel like I am evolving. I am always looking to sort out my flaws and motivate myself to be what I consider to be a better person. I try very hard to remember this when I see my colleagues do or say very silly or hurtful things.
My favorite DaVinci quote (really the only one that I know) is “I am still learning.” This and my past rough times help me to give people the benefit of the doubt. Maybe they're just going through a bad phase. Maybe they are just trying to figure it out. Maybe I should help them instead of shunning them in my mind. People can evolve, right?

Then again, maybe they don't. “A leopard can't change his spots” as they say. I am confident that I know people who are incapable of change or improvement. It's like that little voice is missing that says “I can be a better person.” They already are who they will be forever. These people are almost always exceedingly boring or exceedingly horrible. I worry more about the horrible ones. They can be relied upon to always be horrible, and maybe there is comfort there. Maybe I always want people to be predictable. At least then won't raise my expectations.

I thought that I had a point, but I am now seeing the irony of being inconsistent in my opinions concerning consistency. I give up. No wait. I guess what I'm saying is that I don't want to be judged on the bad times. I don't want one mistake to be held against me forever. (generic statement) And I want to be more vigilant in myself to give everyone a second chance. We all deserve one.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Very interesting!!