Maybe it's a British Thing Pt. 5

Tomato-Tomahto. Let's not call the whole thing off. I guess I can't do this series without a word on words. I didn't really want to get into the lexicography of US v. UK terms. Mostly because it quickly gets confusing and some of it I knew before I arrived. Also, I find most of it quite charming. For example, why don't we call it a car boot? And nothing sounds better than “a mini cooper with white bonnet stripes.” But some words are just too fancy. I mean, courgette? Aubergine? Seriously.

Almost every conversation I have with a Brit ends up with talk of our vocab minutiae and the whole thing is just one of life’s mysteries. No one can explain why a sweater is a jumper, a trash can is a bin, or a backpack is a rucksack. Am I going to wear a bathing suit or a...a swimming costume? I can't even say that without giggling. There are a million more, none of which have any explanation; and the American Revolution would be stretching it. Some of it, though, leads to amusing situations.

In my first foray into the world of 'the gym.' I had to go to an orientation to make sure that I wouldn't inadvertently hurt myself, I guess. I think it really is to add another level of annoyance to the whole process. And for people like me, a deterrent. I mean, my showing up to the gym is a miracle in itself, why push it with an embarrassing orientation process?
Anyway, I had come from class, so I had to change when I got there. I checked in with the girl at the desk.
“Hi, I'm here for orientation.”
“Cool, you can just wait over there.”
“Oh, okay, but I have to go change my pants first.” (rushes to locker room)

About three minutes later I was in the midst of changing when I realized what I had said, and at no one in particular I shouted “Trousers! I need to change my trousers, dammit!” Because of course, here, pants are underwear and it's not something you'd announce to the world if they needed changing.
I returned sheepishly to wait, hoping that she had caught my accent and forgiven my bringlish faux pas.

This was certainly not my last experience into the intercontinental wordplay confusion.

I went to a dinner at the cathedral and it was really lovely. As is customary everywhere, a palate cleansing sweet item was set out, and the people I was sitting with offered me 'pudding.'
Always eager for any kind of sweet palate cleansing food, I headed to the front table which was actually full of pies and cookies. Not that pies and cookies are in any way a disappointment, but not what I was expecting. I returned with a slice of apple and my inquiry.

“I hate to tell you guys, but this is not pudding.” My joke was met with quizzical looks. “I mean, this isn't what I call pudding. This is- this is pie.” (crickets chirping)
“Ohh! Of course, pudding is just what we call what you'd call uh...dessert. What do you call pudding?”
“Wait, um. I mean, pudding is um, a diary product that is, like, uh, impossible to describe, actually. It's uh, cold, and creamy, and sweet, and usually chocolate.”
Thankfully a sweet wise person saved me.
“You mean custard.”
Another understanding “Ohh!” went through the table.
“Custard- yes! That's what it is. Well, I'm glad we cleared that up. I think.”

It was then explained to me that pudding was dessert and 'dessert' was more of a posh term that nobody says. Little did I know at the time that custard still isn't exactly pudding, and many people prefer to pour it hot over pies or cakes instead of letting it cool in the fridge. Weirdos.

Although, this practice, as well as that of 'pouring cream' is pretty awesome and almost no pudding would be complete without it.

So, be careful when you're here. Though I don't think there are any actually damaging Bringlish faux pas. Only other amusing misunderstandings having to do with looking for the birds that fly as opposed to the birds that....don't. But I don't think many Brits even say that any more.

Oh, and 'inverted commas?' Seriously? Full stop.