Problem Solved.

"I can't breathe, my right foot is swollen, my sugar is high, and my neck feels weird." The patient announced as we entered her door.

For these reasons she called 911 and got an emergency ambulance.

I went down the list of complaints with her.

I listened to her clear lungs, I put her on the pulse ox, I took her blood pressure.

I examined her foot, determined there was no trauma, strong pulses, good sensation, no swelling at all.

I took her blood sugar and discovered that she was due for her insulin shot which would put it back to normal.

I palpated her neck, I counted her pulse, I listened for bruits, I felt nothing.

We talked, I joked, she laughed.

I wondered why I was there appeasing a classic time waster.

After all this, she still wanted to go to the ER.

I walked her to the cot and on the way out she asked if she could take a bag of sugar free candy with her.

I punched her in the face.