FWB

-

So, I moved out of anonymity a bit with the online dating and gave someone my screen name. I'm here to tell you it wasn't a mistake, but instead I am glad I did. Our first and only conversation saved me a lot of time and effort. I probably should get a 'fake' name just to be safe though. If the integrity of my real screen name was breeched, I'd be pretty mad.
We started out with the usual niceties, and he asked me what I wanted out of my online dating experience. I simply answered "a date" which is completely true. In fact, maybe too specific, I mean, I'd settle for "drinks."
I asked him the same question and he said "probably FWB and then see where it leads". Which left me thinking 'am I so out of touch that I don't know the current aim vernacular?' Well, yeah I am. So, a little clarification was needed. Here is the rest of our conversation from there, the only editing was spelling, and the addition of my thoughts in parenthesis.

potential date: honestly probably fwb and see where it leads
me: fwb? (asked in my infinite wisdom)
total ass: friends with benefits
me: oh (WTF?!)
ta: yea
me: thats very honest of you
ta: i m honest person (oh, well that changes everything!)
me: so are you saying friends with benefits w/o a relationship
big jerk: yea i guess and see where it leads (which would be nowhere)
me: how would you get that without a relationship (my sad naivete shining through)
me: I guess i'm curious b/c I've never had "friends with benefits"
me: and to be honest with you, not much interest in it
big jerk: not much interst in what
me: (are you some kind of retard?) fwb (duh)
moron: too bad (too bad?!!)
moron: they can be fun and make good friends (so can hookers)
me: so you want a friend you have sex with, just be clear
huge jerk: for the time being and see where it develops
me: to me, it's usually the other way around
me: you have a friend and then see what develops
ass: basically thats what it is just throwing fun in there
me: and fun can only be found in the form of sex?
ass: no friends have the regular fun benefits throw in the sex fun (what? that doesn't even make sense)
no longer potential date: its not that bad as u make it out to be (yes it is)
captain obvious: guess i scared u (I wouldn't say scared exactly)
me: I probably would have found out sooner or later
me: but why (this dating site) isn't everyone on there looking for a real relationship?
delusional: as am i (um...no you're not)
bad boyfriend: but i dont rush into them (do you even buy them dinner?)
huge ass: but i just dont want friends..i like fun to much (right. so do pedophiles)
me: that's interesting (actually, no it's not)
jerk: yep
you're not cute: oh well its me i guess
still trying: not interested? (have you and I been in the same conversation?!)
me: in fwb w/o a relationship?
huge jerk: yea
me: no
still a jerk: k (okay, yeah, bye)

Comments

Medic61 said…
Uh...creeper!

God, how much of an ass do you have to be to tell a girl that in the first conversation!?
03 May, 2008
Anonymous said…
ugh. Makes me sad to be a man sometimes to see jerks like that.
03 May, 2008
Unknown said…
Geez.... He gives us good guys a bad name!
03 May, 2008
PFRussell said…
Hmmm, I have lots of words for that guy. Only one fit for a public forum such as this is "ASS."

Pat
03 May, 2008
Anonymous said…
OMG!!!
04 May, 2008
Anonymous said…
http://www.tshirthell.com/store/product.php?productid=890
13 May, 2008
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Dueling Blogs

-
I have the immense privilege to be sitting right across from Maddog Medic in the flesh. We aren't speaking, though he is listening to me. Want to solve this riddle? He is transcribing an interview he did with me for his blog at this very moment. And I too am blogging at this very moment! How crazy?! I am stationed this week at the EMS today conference to stock up on professional wheelings and dealings and learn some stuff. This is a wonderful conference full of networking and new products and I learned already that one dose of glucagon costs $130. That's out of control! I cannot wait to catch up on disaster literature and EMS tricks of the trade and get as many free pens as I can at the expo tomorrow.  As for now, I'm headed to a class on smart stuff and pediatric breathing problems.  I am surrounded by EMS nerds and I love it! I spent the day learning about things above my pay grade such as how to read a chest x-ray and how to differentiate between subarachnoi...
Click for More

Clothing Removal

-
Image
Last week I had a patient who fell from her horse while jumping at a show. When I got there the BLS crew had immobilized her and, well, that was about it. She was complaining of neck pain and at that moment couldn't remember what had happened. I used my horsey knowledge to build up a healthy rapport with a scared patient. In general, not a lot was wrong with her. My biggest problem was that she was on the backboard and still had on all of her fancy English riding clothes. I made my best efforts to get off her button up shirt with high collar and black outer riding jacket, but it caused her pain, and then I made it worse. Worse than falling off your horse, worse than the public embarrasment of having an ambulance called for you, worse than defenitly losing your show class, was the stupid paramedic who cut off your expensive riding clothes. I, too, had never felt worse for cutting someones clothes off. She cried and shrieked and you would have thought I was punching her in the gut. I...
Click for More

The Race

-
Sometimes this job is like a race. Like you're carrying this person on your back, and it's a messy race. You're tripping and sweating and you almost drop them. It's bouncy and there's trash everywhere. And if you can just get them over that line. To the line and throw them over. Throw them over and into the ER, you're obligation is fulfilled. Your job is done. You've won the race. And for a long time, that was it. Mission accomplished and I wasn't responsible for anything else. I didn't care about anything else. Get them to the hospital.  Dust my hands off and pat myself on the back. But somehow, they crept in. What did happen?  Did they live?  For the first time I asked myself.  I began to bring them home. I put them on a shelf and they stared down at me. They said, did you run fast enough?  Did you fall?  Did you drop me?  You threw me onto this island- over your line, but was it salvation?  I left in a hel...
Click for More