The Perfect Motivation

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We had a guy trying to win a Darwin Award the other day. He was standing in a tree, holding a chain saw, trimming branches when he lost his balance and fell about 25 feet down. Luckily, he managed to throw the chainsaw before it sawed his head off. He also managed to delay hitting the ground by meeting a few branches on the way.

We got there with the ambulance put him on a backboard and all that. He probably broke his hip, and started getting hostile when we suggested not going to our cute community hospital and instead going to a trauma center where they could properly treat his injuries. He wasn't hearing it. He immediatly went into a tirade about how much he didn't want to go to the trauma center, and while I managed to resist yelling over him, my partner gave him a sterm talking to and he, well, at least was quiet for a minute. Basically, you're the one who fell out of a tree, we're just trying to help you. He was mitigated when we agreed to take him to our cute community hospital. Whatever, it's his choice anyway, we were just trying to save him a hassle. By then I didn't really care anymore.

Me: "Let me borrow you arm for a second, I'm going to start and IV in case we need to give you fluids or medicine."
Him: "If you're going to do an IV, we have a problem."
Me: (abruptly stops, and attempts to prevent an eye roll) "What do you mean?"
Him: "Every time I go to the hospital they can't get an IV, they have to use a butterfly needle, and always end up calling anesthesia."
Me: "Okay, well, how about you give me one try and then we'll go."
Him: (really gives it thought) "Okay, one try."

One try was all I needed.
Now chill out and be quiet.

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