Spandex

It has been widely believed for the last 24 years that the likelihood of Ellie wearing spandex was equal or less than that of a staunch vegan wearing leather.

But, after 14 miles or so on those tiny standard issue bike seats, it was clear that something must be done. So, I dug out that gel seat cover from a few years ago. This gave a marginal amount of relief. Still, it was becoming apparent that real bike shorts were in order.
That’s right, bike shorts, the ones made of spandex with that huge padded crotch, shorts that couldn't show any more unless they were painted on, the garment which is generally not acceptable to be worn in public. But, oh how times have changed. They now make what are called ‘baggy bike shorts.’ This is an absolute brilliant concept of taking the standard bike short, and then covering them up with regular shorts. When worn properly, no one knows that the spandex is there! They're even suitable for public viewing. Small children will not be scarred for life, and no elderly people will suddenly be stricken ill as you pass.

Once I made this discovery, I was off to find a pair. Sadly, my old favorite store has lost its luster as of late. But that’s okay, I found these 'phantom' bike shorts at another store. They are, like many things, too expensive, but let me tell you, they are worth every penny!
I never thought that I would ever, ever wear spandex, or even a product remotely resembling spandex. And, I'm sorry for those of you who just lost bets. But these shorts are great.