An update, really.

I feel compelled to write a little update. I love to write, and I love to have something to write about. Amazingly, my interfacility job gave me two interesting calls to write about. I haven't written those down yet, so this update is literally that; an update.

I feel like things are a little better for me. I have moved into my own apartment, and I've turned a big, empty room into a living space that I really enjoy being in.

I actually did some calls at work that made me feel worthwhile. I didn't expect that, and I hope it continues.

I know that I am not alone. Love and hope and wisdom are all around me. I love to find them. I love to find them in unexpected places.

Recently, I've felt hungry. I guess it's a good thing as I hadn't felt hungry for about a month. I've also cooked things and I hope to continue to expand my culinary skills outside the realm of hot pockets and peanut butter burritos.

I feel like I am having fewer bad days. Or, the bad days are getting easier to tolerate. I'm not sure which. Sometimes I can't even tell if I've feeling sad or angry.

Things may not be going the way I hoped they would, but it seems more like things are just not going they way I thought they would. I think that having to accept that has been very difficult.
In the past I have set goals and made plans, I always had a direction. It is a very odd place for me to be; not carrying out a plan I made. Having to admit to myself that it was not the best plan, and then to realize that without it I had almost nothing to go on, was awful.
But I know now that even though I might not have a plan, I will never be without purpose. A purpose of my choosing, that my every day should be based upon. I also know that when I least expect them, plans will emerge, like they always have.