So much to blog, so little time
I’ve had a few days of clinicals, hence the lack of updates, and the length of this one. I started out by hitting a new personal level of ghetto by taping the earpieces onto my stethoscope, classy.
We had a very eclectic day, starting with a burn patient, marking the first time I got to give morphine, sweet! Later we basically had an interfacility GI bleed patient, pungent! The patient had a PICC line in and the sending facility had started a 22g; way to put fluids in, not.
One call was for neck pain. A quick assessment, (looking at the patient) led to the discovery of a large abscess on her neck. Apparently the patient had shot up there and missed the vein, infiltrating heroin. Of course your neck hurts!
Finally we had a, well, technically it’s outside of my scope of practice to diagnose, but we had a seizure faker. Tip to fakers: look up what ‘ails’ you before attempting to portray it. Accuracy helps. For example: seizure patients do not typically stop seizing to say ‘ouch!’ when they get an IV and then continue seizing.
I did discover that the rumors are true, being thanked is nice.
The next morning, I finally got rid of Ewing, yep; I mailed him to Abu Dhabi. I just stuck a whole book of stamps on his forehead, drove him to the airport, and pushed him out of the moving truck. Actually, if you replace “Abu Dhabi” with “Hawaii” and “pushed him out of the moving truck” with “lovingly bade him good-bye” and you’d have a more accurate picture of what happened.
My first night shift in awhile was marked by a 100% IV success rate.
Most of our patients had no complaint. One lady, a DNR who was completely fine aside from a little dementia, (so, an utterly pointless transport) thoroughly enjoyed herself in the back of the unit. At one point amidst all the bumps and jolts she exclaimed: "Whee!" My preceptor and I had a hard time holding back.
I got to visit a nice Baltimorean theatre where a lady had eaten too many high-class foods, then topped them off with a beer. She was in the bathroom, doing one of my forbidden acts.
Also we had a patient with asthma (hurrah for treatable patients!), a pregnant lady (if only she had called 2 hours later!) a face v. fist, and an arrestee claiming to have been bitten in a, you could say, private place.
Yesterday, I had my least boring day at a particular clinical site ever! Since it's a hospital based system, I hung out in the ER and worked as a skill jockey for a while. "Sure I'll do that line, 12 lead? Oh yeah!" And, I got to run some calls too, but nothing over exciting.
Today I got paid to watch people hit each other with sticks while doing standby for a lacrosse game at school. Nobody got hurt and we lost. “UMBC…we play board games."
We had a very eclectic day, starting with a burn patient, marking the first time I got to give morphine, sweet! Later we basically had an interfacility GI bleed patient, pungent! The patient had a PICC line in and the sending facility had started a 22g; way to put fluids in, not.
One call was for neck pain. A quick assessment, (looking at the patient) led to the discovery of a large abscess on her neck. Apparently the patient had shot up there and missed the vein, infiltrating heroin. Of course your neck hurts!
Finally we had a, well, technically it’s outside of my scope of practice to diagnose, but we had a seizure faker. Tip to fakers: look up what ‘ails’ you before attempting to portray it. Accuracy helps. For example: seizure patients do not typically stop seizing to say ‘ouch!’ when they get an IV and then continue seizing.
I did discover that the rumors are true, being thanked is nice.
The next morning, I finally got rid of Ewing, yep; I mailed him to Abu Dhabi. I just stuck a whole book of stamps on his forehead, drove him to the airport, and pushed him out of the moving truck. Actually, if you replace “Abu Dhabi” with “Hawaii” and “pushed him out of the moving truck” with “lovingly bade him good-bye” and you’d have a more accurate picture of what happened.
My first night shift in awhile was marked by a 100% IV success rate.
Most of our patients had no complaint. One lady, a DNR who was completely fine aside from a little dementia, (so, an utterly pointless transport) thoroughly enjoyed herself in the back of the unit. At one point amidst all the bumps and jolts she exclaimed: "Whee!" My preceptor and I had a hard time holding back.
I got to visit a nice Baltimorean theatre where a lady had eaten too many high-class foods, then topped them off with a beer. She was in the bathroom, doing one of my forbidden acts.
Also we had a patient with asthma (hurrah for treatable patients!), a pregnant lady (if only she had called 2 hours later!) a face v. fist, and an arrestee claiming to have been bitten in a, you could say, private place.
Yesterday, I had my least boring day at a particular clinical site ever! Since it's a hospital based system, I hung out in the ER and worked as a skill jockey for a while. "Sure I'll do that line, 12 lead? Oh yeah!" And, I got to run some calls too, but nothing over exciting.
Today I got paid to watch people hit each other with sticks while doing standby for a lacrosse game at school. Nobody got hurt and we lost. “UMBC…we play board games."
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