Happy New Yawn...

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New years is a ‘holiday’ that I have a hard time getting excited about. To me, it could be any day of the year. What is it anyway besides a reason to buy a new calendar? A day to reflect on the past year, to make resolutions I won’t keep? But, as my cousin was saying “This year is gonna be so crazy, so outrageous that they had to give it a new name.” Ha Ha.
Although, ’06 is a year I have been looking forward to for some time. a) I will graduate from college. b) Become a paramedic c) Begin my life as an independent, confident, frightened, confused, yet full-fledged adult.
The future is constantly sneaking into my thoughts. Nearly everyday I find myself miles away, lost in my contemplations of the future. I’ll become worried about things like how decisions I make now will affect the lives of my non-existent children, how owning is better than renting, but that may tie me down, whether or not to buy a car in this state or in the one I may or may not be living in. Is this normal? I feel like the only person I know who is becoming increasingly scared of real life and it’s potential. I twirl my hair between my fingers, brow furrowed, deep in thought. ‘How did I get here?’ I ask myself. ‘And where am I going?’ Too many questions getting in the way of the task at hand, clouding my...Wait. I shouldn’t blog after watching “Sin City.” My internal commentary is getting way to...detailed.

I digress. Happy 2006, happy Tuesday, happy 11 o’clock hour.

Comments

Anonymous said…
oh no ellie, youre not the first to be askign those questions...

~mala
03 January, 2006
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