All study and no play make Ellie go something...something...

I'm convinced that the NREMT exams are designed not to test your knowledge of paramedicine, but you're overall mental health. If you can survive taking a 180 question/3 hour exam then, two days later survive going through about 10 practical stations in rapid succession lasting God knows how long, you should earn a stamp on your forehead that reads: “Sane.”
I love the practical critical fail points (meaning if you do or don’t do this thing, you fail the station) such as: “Did not indicate the need for transport.” Of course you’re transporting, that’s the job!
I’m really looking forward to what I believe will be the most torturous and uncomfortable 30 seconds of my life. During the ventilatory management station, you ventilate the ‘patient’ for 30 seconds while; I assume the evaluator watches you for mistakes. I think it’s designed to see how long you can go before cracking. I’ll be thinking: “The evaluator is still watching me, boy, this is uncomfortable. 1,2,3,4 breath…What if I mess up? Will they ask me to leave right now, and to not even bother to finish? 1,2,3,4 breath…Ooh, I think some air leaked on that one, crap! How long has it been? It seems like an eternity! 1,2,3,4 breath…They should just fail me now, I know I’ve made too many mistakes already.” Then the evaluator will finally say: “Breath sounds are present and intubation has been ordered.” I’ll think: “Woo-Hoo! Thank God that's over.”
We took a fake written yesterday so we could get an idea of how fun the real thing will be. Conclusion: loads of fun! Up to three hours in a lecture hall reading complicated questions that randomly jump from one subject to the next. You can be remembering the difference between asthma and bronchiolitis, then all of a sudden you’re trying to remember what a tertiary blast injury involves, then a random question about simplex or duplex communications. And the answer choices are really great too. Two of them you can eliminate right off because they’re totally dumb. Then the other two choices are so similar that you pull you hair out while thinking of a reason to chose A or C. (Well, I haven’t used A in a while) Then you try to suppress the horrible feeling that there’s no way they would have gone this long without having A as an answer. (C is a nice neutral answer) Then you realize you have four C’s in a row. There’s no way they would have a 5th one! That’s unheard of! (Hmm…well, maybe it’s B after all.) Such is the insane rambling that I anticipate to be going on in my head during the most important test I’ve taken thus far in my life. I can’t wait!
Wish me luck this week!

Comments

Anonymous said…
Good luck, and remember... Don't Panic. (Back to studying for me, mine's in two weeks...) DTs.
Anonymous said…
I don't have to take it until january....so i think insteadof worrying about it straight through, I will just have a lousy new years eve!

good luck. choose B....no C...wait....A....no...

b

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