"A what in my what?" Part 1 of 2

The last two nights I had shifts in the ED. As a result I’m posting two entries today, yay! The underlying themes of these shifts had to do with hearing, and the borderline loss of my IV mojo.

It’s only slightly reassuring when the local “IV masters” (as I like to call them) tell you “Oh don’t worry, everyone has a bad day.” Funny, they say that even though they just got that ridiculous IV on your last patient after you missed twice in their best veins. It was just so sad, a Sunday night: no happy dances, wasted 20 gauges, and alcohol preps freakin’ everywhere! (one of the days few redeeming features).

Other than that on Sunday we had this guy who was older than dirt and stone deaf. For some reason he came sans hearing aid which allowed for some hilarity. Everytime I went by the room, rather, anytime I was in the vicinity of his room, I could hear someone yelling something at him. There’s not much friendly banter when a patient can’t hear. Questions like “Do you know where you are!?” developed later into “We’re going to put a tube…in your penis!” -short pause- “Your PENIS!” This alone explains why I didn’t jump up to volunteer to do his foley. It also happened to be time for me to leave. I wanted to die laughing as I took full advantage of this “run away!” moment.

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