Maybe it's a British Thing Pt. 1
What is with those people on the street who are representing reputable charity like organisations, but are constantly bothering everyone? You can spot them from a block away, wearing brightly color coordinated t-shirts or jackets. And it's like spotting an ex coming toward you on the street; suddenly panic stricken and shouting 'Oh, my God!' before spinning around to seek an alternative route around them. But sometimes, it's too late. You've been spotted. Eye contact has been made. Your grimace has been greeted with a bright smile and there's no time to turn and run.
I usually pretend I am in a hurry (suddenly) but even that doesn't work. Whatever you're in a hurry for 'this will only take a minute.'
“Sorry, I'm in a hurry...”
“Oh, this will only take a minute.”
“Actually, I'm in labor. Can't you tell? Hoo-Hoo Hee-Hee”
“My house is on fire.”
“I'm late meeting my birth mother for the first time.”
“But I'll take only a minute of your time.”
But there are some tricks I've learned to get out of dealing with them other than taking a sharp turn down the next dodgy alleyway.
They can't go beyond a certain area so if you say, sure I'll take your survey on my way; walk with me. They can't. You could probably stand on the next block and taunt them if you wanted.
These days I just say that I don't live here and my accent tells them that I am merely a holidaymaker in sunny Coventry and not interested in their UK based charity work.
It's not very believable, but you could always say your are under-age. Works with telemarketers too.
You can always go the “I don't speak English/no hablo Inglés /ne parle pas anglais/Ich spreche kein Englisch.” route. Which is usually not believable when you mispronounce it in your newly acquired mother tongue.
And most effectively, “You got my details yesterday!” Shouted as you jog past them. Which will either sound legitimate, or confuse them as they weren't out there yesterday.
Once you give in and they have your details, they are relentless. The British Red Cross, bless them, called me no less than 23 times before I gave up an answered. I was not guilted into making a regular donation, although, boy did they try! “I'm sorry, I totally support you guys, but I am a student and I don't have a job.” “Yeah, but surely you can spare £5 a month?” “Actually, no. But when I am employed again (not in this country) I'm all over it.”
If you give in to making the donation, they begin using your pittance to send you piles of thank-you gifts. Seriously, the money spent on this calendar, pencil set, letter opener, luggage tag, beach towel and pin makes my donation completely obsolete. But...you're welcome. We could have cured cancer by now, but they've starting a printing service instead.
And I admit, there are so many worthy charities in the UK, which is awesome. I wish that they didn't have to pester people for money, and I wish I could give them all £5 a month. Standing in the street, asking for money for them every day must rank as one of the worst jobs in the world. Everyone must be so mean to them, or just lie about being in a hurry.
I usually pretend I am in a hurry (suddenly) but even that doesn't work. Whatever you're in a hurry for 'this will only take a minute.'
“Sorry, I'm in a hurry...”
“Oh, this will only take a minute.”
“Actually, I'm in labor. Can't you tell? Hoo-Hoo Hee-Hee”
“My house is on fire.”
“I'm late meeting my birth mother for the first time.”
“But I'll take only a minute of your time.”
But there are some tricks I've learned to get out of dealing with them other than taking a sharp turn down the next dodgy alleyway.
They can't go beyond a certain area so if you say, sure I'll take your survey on my way; walk with me. They can't. You could probably stand on the next block and taunt them if you wanted.
These days I just say that I don't live here and my accent tells them that I am merely a holidaymaker in sunny Coventry and not interested in their UK based charity work.
It's not very believable, but you could always say your are under-age. Works with telemarketers too.
You can always go the “I don't speak English/no hablo Inglés /ne parle pas anglais/Ich spreche kein Englisch.” route. Which is usually not believable when you mispronounce it in your newly acquired mother tongue.
And most effectively, “You got my details yesterday!” Shouted as you jog past them. Which will either sound legitimate, or confuse them as they weren't out there yesterday.
Once you give in and they have your details, they are relentless. The British Red Cross, bless them, called me no less than 23 times before I gave up an answered. I was not guilted into making a regular donation, although, boy did they try! “I'm sorry, I totally support you guys, but I am a student and I don't have a job.” “Yeah, but surely you can spare £5 a month?” “Actually, no. But when I am employed again (not in this country) I'm all over it.”
If you give in to making the donation, they begin using your pittance to send you piles of thank-you gifts. Seriously, the money spent on this calendar, pencil set, letter opener, luggage tag, beach towel and pin makes my donation completely obsolete. But...you're welcome. We could have cured cancer by now, but they've starting a printing service instead.
And I admit, there are so many worthy charities in the UK, which is awesome. I wish that they didn't have to pester people for money, and I wish I could give them all £5 a month. Standing in the street, asking for money for them every day must rank as one of the worst jobs in the world. Everyone must be so mean to them, or just lie about being in a hurry.
Comments