Confessions

I have three things to admit to today.

1. I was afraid of being cleared as a single provider at part time work for many reasons. (There we run alone without a partner. I think this adds several layers of vulnerability to the job, both in terms of physical safety and provider responsibility.)
2. I milked my orientation at part time work this winter to make more money. (I get paid more there as a PRN employee, and as an orientee, I could go in as often as I wanted)
3. I was terrified today on the way to my first call alone at part time work.

Now, in a lot of ways, I am very excited about this single provider thing. Yes, it does put more responsibility on me, but I like that, and it also gives me a lot of freedom. I have to make decisions and stick to them, which is pretty cool. It is just nerve wracking to know that (I can say with no ego) I arrive on scene and the BLS crew often looks to me to sort out the situation.

Terror aside, my mom reminded me of this: How many times have I gone on scene with my partner in the background and successfully managed to bring calm to the situation, help the patient, and do the right thing without freaking out? Tons of times.

So, my first call 'alone' was indeed both terrifying and exhilarating. Of course, I didn't know where I was going and was very dependent on the GPS unit. The secondary dispatch information included the words "CPR in progress" but thankfully were followed by "...but the patient is apparently breathing. I told the bystanders not to do CPR if he was awake." Let's hope they listened. As it turned out, they didn't and were still doing CPR on a conscious patient when BLS arrived.
The whole time I was driving there, praying that I had entered the address correctly in the GPS, I could only think "This is insane!" I really hadn't felt so nervous on a call in years. But, it is a basic function of an EMS provider to be able to be freaking out on the inside and looking normal on the outside.

So I arrived to find a very disoriented guy on the sidewalk who had apparently fallen after having a few beers. (It was before noon.) He was a diabetic and his medical alert tag said "Heart Problems." This was about as useful as having nothing on it at all. We got him in the ambo with much trouble as he was completely uncooperative, grabby, and about 350lbs. At that point I was pretty happy, thinking it was a diabetic issue. But, after checking his blood sugar twice and getting normal readings, I was a little more worried about his condition. So I did all the other usual things and yeah, he did have heart problems with wide complex abbarently conducted a-fib. We got to the hospital and CT revealed a head bleed.
I hung around out of curiosity as he became increasingly agitated and angry. I think at one point there were three medics, two nurses and a doctor trying to hold him down. A helicopter was called to transfer him and he was sufficiently "snowed" and intubated.

So, it is typical, I'm told, that the first few weeks after every provider gets cleared include a string of ridiculous and challenging calls. I'm glad to be on my way to upholding the tradition.