Anger

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I have been worried about my pent up anger lately. It has been raining and cold, so I haven't gotten much bike time in (which is my usual cure). My mental state in general has been pretty low lately. But, as Dory says, I'm going to just keep swimming. Even if it feels like my head is under the water.

But, here's an example to attest that I am not a complete rageaholic. We took a newborn the other day to long term care for detox. That in itself prompts the snake inside me to seethe. When we got there the baby was dead asleep from being drugged up. The mom was there claiming that she got in a methadone clinic once she found out she was pregnant to get clean. Right. And magically the baby tested positive for cocaine, benzos, and heroin. Yeah. That's what I call trying to get clean.

I know that addiction is a terrible plight and a near incurable disease. Regardless, this is your child! I come from the school that if I were pregnant I probably would give up even caffeine to ensure my babys health. Also, the mom was loud and talkative and I couldn't wait to get rid of her. The baby was beautiful and adorable and seemingly otherwise fine. The fact that the mom didn't end up with a swift kick in the face shows, well, shows that I don't exactly want to get fired. And, okay so I'm not a violent person. But with great strength I wasn't even rude to her.

It is not my God who gives a beautiful baby to a junkie and denies one to a loving couple.

Comments

--maddog said…
"That in itself prompts the snake inside me to seethe. "

This is the greatest beast to conquer when facing the "evil" of our fellow humans.

We, who provide comfort and care, must be free of the influence of the snake of hate and fury. It is only by conquering its influence we become the compassionate, caring medics we hope to be.

Beware the dark side, young jedi.

-maddog
21 December, 2007
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