30 October 2011

Back on the Wagon

Having house guests had the desired effect on me. We ate plenty of meals at regular intervals, rearranged the living room (for the better) and hung out like normal humans. My fridge was stocked and I bought a new chair. I learned I can deal with a dog, but that whole 24 hour job thing still gets in the way.
In addition, they brought their bikes here and we had to justify that. I've been biking more in the last month than I have in the last three and it feels good and bad to be back on that track. I am reminded that the bike was expensive and I have to take it out to justify it. I was also reminded that if you stop exercise, it doesn't take long to feel like an out of shape lazy-ass. Inspired by my house guests' fitness, I have started back at the gym, which I immediately regretted when I climbed stairs the next day. But, fear not! Especially if it keeps snowing and unseasonable amount, I will have no reason to avoid it. The biking has been great and with only a few trips I feel slightly more in shape.

These house guests and I were proper roommates back in the day and it was truly wonderful to have them around me again. They give excellent advice and I value their opinions. They'll be moving pretty far away next year but I have already resolved to follow them around the country/world for the rest of time. And, you know me, any excuse will do for travelling purposes. This will solidify that my next adventure will be domestic which is what I had meant to accomplish all this year.

In other news, I will be spending some of my travel money on a 'new' 'commuter car.' The details on that are in short supply, but rest assured they will come.

Now, I anticipate a bit of sadness as I bid my house guests good-bye. Another reason to have house guests is to keep you sane. I realize that the longer I stay single, the less eligible I become to maintain a relationship. Mostly because living alone makes you a bit crazy and set in your ways. Now, I only had a couple of 'Misery' type moments of shouting "The penguin always faces due south!!" in these last few weeks, but the whole thing has served as a reminder that I need to be flexible and accommodating and maybe turn on the heat every once in a while. And maybe, maybe, turn on the porch light. Though I doubt it. I mean, my frugality knows no bounds, and seriously outweighs my welcoming nature.  

29 October 2011

The Note

It is simple and concise.
Far from elegant
thoughtful yet chaotic,
typed and careful.
Paragraphs and lists.
These are the reasons,
the pains and unmet needs.
The counting of the blessings.
Thankful for the good times,
it reassures and probably,
assumes too much.
This whole life in a few lines.
Are these words enough,
this simple correspondence.
Enough for forgiveness,
for understanding.
Is it long enough
to heal a broken heart.
Is it desperate enough
to make it okay,
to pull the trigger.

14 October 2011

Home: One year on

I've been back a year today.  It feels somehow like a far longer time has passed.  A lot has happened, unhappened, and rehappened.  It's almost as though nothing has changed, though everything has.  And now I am out of 'life changes, deal with it' type statements. 
It's been a great year!  And strange, but I am beginning to feel that strange is the new normal.  I haven't done anything with my degree from last year except to hang it on the wall.  I only yesterday applied for an internship that I am probably not qualified for. 
But who cares?  I still love my job and the people I work with.  The commute is getting annoying and the pay stagnet, but at the end of the day, it's employment.  And that alone is saying something.  I would like to avoid lateral career moves, but something closer to home might be nice. 
The photo selling wild ass plan is...um, going, and will probably be on hiatus until the spring.  After two shows I'm not giving up, though I could have enough Christmas presents to last me a good long time if I don't sell anymore. 
I guess I just wanted to blog for the occasion, as I'll forget in coming years.  Getting back to England, if only for a visit, is always on my back burner.  I can't help it-I really love it there.   But I love it here too.  I think I will continue with my domestic traveling for a while and continue to save until I can do a proper trip.  I intended upon my return to spend more time with friends and family, which has gone okay.  Time is difficult to find, both on my end and on theirs.  But, time will always be made for what is important. 
I also wanted to do more local activities, and in that I have had a total fail.  I really need to join a club or something to get out there.  I live blocks from downtown, I really have no excuse. 
So, on to the next year, and fulfilling maslows hierarchy of needs! 

03 October 2011

D2B

A few weeks ago we went on a chest pain call.  Chest pain is really our bread and butter, and most of the time it's people who have stable angina that just didn't go away.  Every once in a while, we get the good old STEMI, which is our decisive way to 'diagnose' a heart attack in the field.  These patients, like this one, stand out from typical chest pain calls.  They are often writhing around, unable to get comfortable, sweating like crazy, pale, and of course, have crushing chest pain.  This patient was pretty classic.  And as soon as I saw that it is not all dramatics, we headed straight to the nearest interventional cath lab. 
I love these kinds of calls.  They are the times that I feel like we're doing what we're meant to do.  I sent the EKG tracing ahead of us so that they could assemble the cath team.  I love when they take us seriously.  'The cardiologist loved your EKG.' one of the doctors told me when we arrived.
So, we got the patient in and left and I finished the story in my head like usual.  But this week, I heard back, that the patients 'door to balloon' time was 33 minutes.  That's the time we arrived at the ER to the time the patent's heart attack was definitively treated.  Within 33 minutes, heart tissue stopped dying. 
I won't be too dramatic, but I was pretty happy to hear that.