A Work in Progress

Wow, work is weird after a six month absence  My first patient back was really sick and I was panicked,-"Somebody do something!"  I shouted in my head, but it's me- it's me, just like old times.  And I have be be the interview, provider, and advocate for this patient.  My assessment is twice as long as it used to bed (and half a useful in the prehospital arena).  I actively think that I should have more to offer patients by now. I'm a PA student now. I know some things.  But all they need was what I always had to give to them.  An IV, an EKG, and a recognition of sick or not sick.  That I can do.  That I sill have an instinct for.  Thank God.

The first full semester of didactic year did not disappoint.  It did not slow down, it did not let up.  I was, with out dramatization, the most difficult semester of my life.  This could be because it was really hard, or it could be because my undergrad is a complete blur.  I'm going to go with it was really hard....'cause it was.  It was something like 19 credits.  By mid terms, we were all swimming around, grasping at the information floating around and trying to get it into our brains in any way possible (sometimes with brute force).   Not to say it was completely without fun.  We had a really fun PA week, a great Halloween party, and I went home a few times for fun reasons.   I really an just writing this for posterity.  So if I look back in 10 years, or if someone who is thinking about PA school asks me, I give the right answer: "That semester sucked."  I have a tendency to forget how hard things are, maybe...

Objective Structured Clinical Exam "OSEC's" is a rite of passage for PA students. This is a test with a live, paid actor as the patient.  Our first one involved doing a full head-to-toe physical, and then taking a history that takes 30 minutes to get through. I can say that before I got started, this was one of the more stressful tests I've taken.  The physical alone had 130 items to get to and while we were given 60 minutes to do, it it went so fast. But a strange thing happened.  Muscle memory told me what to do.  My brain could almost be on auto pilot for this exam.  Just tick all the boxes, just like in practice, just like I wrote on the white board 100 times.  The time did go by so fast, and when I emerged as the first one finished in my group, I did begin to panic.  But it was done! The next day, I had to ask my patient over 200 questions to get to and explore their complaint.  All while trying not to look stupid, trip over words, and he...

Last week I learned that I can prepare for something for seven months and on the day before, still feel unprepared and panicked.  But, once I calmed down and collected myself, school started.  In the next five (now four) weeks we will complete- no rest for the weary.  Our first classes are anatomy, public, health, patient assessment and ethics. A good mix and a good intro.  Once a week we have a cadaver lab.  That is a new experience.  The last cadaver lab I had was in paramedic school and then we did intubation and did cricothyrotomy (the ol' knife and a straw routine) on them.  This was way cooler with actual looking at things and touching things, and....okay, gross.  Yes, I know.  First week in, and I brought my lunch every day (a fact, I'm very proud of), made (roughly) 33 new friends, and been to two happy hours.  I've written 1/4 of a paper, done research, taken 4 quizzes, and made an alarming number of flash cards.  Can't ...

Preppin'

In September 2009 I remember sitting on the floor of my empty apartment, having just called the cable company to cancel my service. I was nearing the eve of my departure to England.  By that time, I was feeling a little less than zen about the whole idea.  The feeling is hard to articulate: a happiness, an excitement, a sadness, a dread. I want to have a stout heart and a calm mind, but both will fail at least for a few minutes in the execution of wild-ass plans. Yesterday I felt that 'little less than zen feeling" and I described myself as "An 'Ellie' 8 [out of 10]...which is a normal person's 12."  But now that I am here and the cats didn't pee, throw up, poo, or die on the ride down, I feel a lot better. We all have a lot to get used to. In the last week I had two last days at work, a great going away party, and several meals and several more drinks with people before I left.  Yesterday I packed up the last of my essentials and the cats and the...

Last day.

A root I killed.

Doobie doobie dow!

My weird cat.

 Life is hard.

Flood damage.